Why I will continue to cosleep

I hadn’t been online all day, so it was snuggled in bed with my 4 week old baby nestled in the crook of my arm where I read the headlines on my phone “Sudden infant death greater when parents share beds with babies” – and this one from the Guardian, that balanced, unsensationalist, altogether superior news outlet (spoken like a true biased liberal, HA.)

I read the report with what must have been an expression on my face much like the one that appears when people tell me they don’t have Twitter accounts – somewhere between incredulity and fear.

Could it be true? Despite years of rubbish data and myth peddling around cosleeping, have they finally proven something that means I must stop this beautiful parenting practice?

I love cosleeping with my little ones. My two and a half year old, Ramona, is still in the bed with us mostly and I am once again delighting in the joys of sharing sleep with my tiny (okay, actually comically MASSIVE) newborn, Juno.

Cosleeping is a continuation of our daytime parenting philosophy; until they are several months old they will be rarely out of our arms – let alone sight. And, as psychologists and neuroscientists have suggested could happen, this initial closeness has developed a fierce independence and daring confidence in my toddler.  Rather than night time and those frequent night feeds being dreaded I look forward to it, knowing that I am likely to get a steady ten hours where I am barely disturbed because even at 4 weeks old Juno can latch on without either of us stirring much. (I’m not the only one who loves this element- even SCIENCE loves the way cosleeping aids breastfeeding; a wonderful relationship has been established by researchers between the two, and it has been shown that breastfeeding lowers the chances of SIDS.)

Once or twice in the last few weeks I have risen to the surface to discover Juno’s breathing doing something a little bit peculiar, just for a few moments, and have been able to listen in to it settling back down again- almost as if there is a subconscious thread that connects her rhythms to mine. When she snuffles about I can restore her peace with a gentle hand on her belly or a badger mamma-like nuzzle into her cheek with my nose. (I can see myself like a badger; lopingly calm until crossed and wearing edgy monochrome.)

As my older daughter has grown cosleeping has continued to hold benefits – allowing a sleepful connection and passing of love between us even when I was often doing long days at work without her close by. I’m sure it has made the transition of a New Kid On the Block much smoother for her too. (It also provides a few jolly chuckles, like the time Ramona played hide and seek with her legs in her sleep.)
Why I will continue cosleeping

I love cosleeping; it has helped my parenting in both a touchy-feely emotional way and a very practical way too. Yet as I read the news last night I wondered if I would have to let it go for the safety of my babies. Should I turn against this deep instinct of mine – an instinct that parents have felt for thousands of years?

Fortunately, as the words from the newspapers flew like darts into my brain other facts, reports and stats swam amongst them- from books and blogs and articles I have enjoyed over the last few years. How can one new bit of research make all of that redundant? This niggle caused me to delve a bit deeper (erm, search Twitter) and I found that – OF COURSE- it doesn’t. In actual fact, the “new” bit of research isn’t new at all, but a regurgiation of old data – data that was initially flawed and now even more so as it has been shoe horned in to a prove an unprovable hypothesis.

As the British Medical Journal hit publish on this cosleeping research by a fellow called Carpenter a host of other scientists, professors and sleep experts from across the globe rushed to hit publish on their own analysis- analysis that deeply calls into question both the methodology and the conclusions of the Carpenter study.

*Serious face* I do have a BA and an Msc in Social Policy, so can get my head around statistics and research methodology and the making of health policy but I’m not going to do my own analysis because, hello; YAWN!! *serious face vanishes* Just kidding, it is because it is all there, already ready to read.

Please see below for the 5 MUST-READS in response to the Carpenter study and the propaganda (YES, propoganda why, why, WHY is there this crazy bias against cosleeping?) that has been produced in the last 24 hours.

But one thing I must add that I don’t think can be said enough. There is a GARGANTUAN difference between intentional and accidental cosleeping and this hasn’t been differentiated between at all in any of the studies used. 50% of parents cosleep at some points but the majority of these doing it in an impromptu manner, as mother and baby fall asleep together during a night nurse. This MUST NOT COUNT as cosleeping in these studies!

People who choose to cosleep take into account their bedding, their night wear, baby’s night wear, room temperature, presence of pillows, the presence – and state- of other people in the bed and baby’s position. All of these things can produce extra risk for baby’s in the parent’s bed so if people have planned and prepared for cosleeping these factors are more often than not taken into account and eliminated. Very much unlike accidental cosleepers.

Not only does this hugely skew nearly every study done, but it also poses a problem for generating policy on cosleeping. Calling for a ban on cosleeping stops any dialogue about all those factors above and makes unintentional cosleeping much more likely to happen.

Cosleepers with intention: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR.

Read on for full assurance…

Psychology Today, SIDS Risks and Realities – a comprehensive rebuttal of the Carpenter study by other academics
“…it is not possible to determine that one variable, such as bedsharing itself is inherently responsible for risk remaining in this study.”

Peter Blair’s Peer Review Before items get any steam behind them they must be peer reviewed – this study was reviewed and found to be good by a few academics (all of which have published anti-bedsharing stuff before) apart from one, Peter Blair, a leading SIDS epidemiologist who writes this scathing and damming review – it is a download but an absolute must!
“The primary focus of this paper, stated in the article summary, is to answer the question “Is there a risk of SIDS due to bed sharing when baby is breast fed, the parents do not smoke and the mother does not use alcohol or illegal drugs?” This question cannot be addressed when only two of the five studies collected data on maternal alcohol consumption, none of them collected data on the use of illegal drugs prior to bed sharing and the question is confined to one cosleeping parent when there are often two.”

Another damming critique, this time from ISIS (Infant Sleep Information Source) – it is a download
“… it is important to be aware that the data upon which these analyses are based are now 15-26 years old (although referred to as ‘recent’), and have been compiled ad hocfrom a heterogeneous collection of studies performed in different countries at different time points, using different methods and definitions for data collection (i.e. it is based upon data that are neither comprehensive nor systematic). It can therefore provide only weak evidence for informing public health policy, and parental infant care behaviour in 2013″

The war on bedsharing- academic and parenting author, Uncommon John
“Discombobulated, perhaps, by recent evidence that has clarified that the risks of bedsharing are limited , and that breastfeeding protects against SIDS (a finding which some SIDS researchers have never wanted to accept) several authors teamed up to to rehash and respin some of their old data, much of which uses poor, outdated definitions of things like co-sleeping and breastfeeding.

Unicef Statement – calling into question the methodology used
“The impression from the press release is that infants in the general population are at a 5-fold risk of SIDS when the parents bed-share and don’t smoke, which is untrue. The risk is considerably smaller than 2.7 and might not even be significant. Considering these findings, it is surprising that the authors have focused on the risk among non-smoking, non-drinking bed-sharing mothers, when there are groups at far higher risk.”

Bedsharing and SIDS- Why we have it all wrong by Sarah Ockwell Smith – a helpful list of the variables not included in the study and a great comparison to driving cars!
“…the Carpenter research has many flaws, aside from the damaging call to action they propose they have just missed far too many variables for the research to be considered of any use to society.”

Bedsharing by Analytical Armidillo – not only does it discuss the dangers of a blanket ban but discusses all the research proving safe cosleeping is actually HEALTHIER for babies!
“So here we have internationally recognised doctors … stating actually co-sleeping may be protective against SIDS.”

NCT statement
“NCT does not support a universal instruction not to bed share as it could lead to an increased likelihood that a parent or carer inadvertently falls asleep while holding the baby, in a chair or on a sofa, which is much less safe for the infant.”

If only our media were better at finding this stuff and giving us balanced reporting (GOSH,  I’m just a blogger tapping away on a laptop with a newborn strapped to my front and a toddler trying to put her Thomas the Tank Engine down my pants and I can manage it! Pull your finger out, Guardian et al.)

HAPPY COSLEEPING EVERYONE!

PS Have you found any cosleeping must-reads? Do share!

PPS I’d hate for you to miss a post… enter your email to get them pinged into your inbox. I won’t be spamalot, promise!


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Thrifty Maternity Fashion: Ten Tips for a moneysaving pregnancy

Maternity fashion, eh? There were points in my pregnancy where that phrase felt like a ludicrous juxtaposition. Is it possible to look all right with hips that widen by inches daily (partly due to pelvis getting into shape and partly due to the nutritional importance of cake eating in pregnancy,) feet that flatten out so completely it is like walking on flippers and a belly button that sticks out so far, and pokes things so much, that it actually HURTS?! I genuinely did have to resort to putting a plaster on my bellybutton to discourage it from having such a life of its own.

Second time round though, I was aware of what I needed to do. When I was pregnant with Ramona it was incredibly hit and miss as I tried to be a bit maternity fashion adventurous. I wore jeggings. And flowery dresses I would never normally wear. I never felt quite myself. This time round, with Juno, I felt much happier.

I spent most of this pregnancy in about 8 items of clothing. I decided pretty early on that I’d rather be happy with my outfit than diverse in my choices so I stuck to some simple stuff.Thrifty Maternity Fashion: 10 money saving tips

Here are ten tips that got me through:

Firstly, the three items you will need…

1- Leggings. Seriously, you will need them and you will come to love them. The third trimester should be totally renamed “The Leggings Stage” as you’ll not want to wear anything thing else. However, be picky. I’m not normally a leggingsy person so I hunted hard for some secondhand numbers I was happy with. I chose a floral pair that kind of seemed from faraway like skinny jeans, a black pair with a strip of “wet look” down the sides, and a sparkly pair (they really itched though so were just for special occasions!! What a nutter…)
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2- Big tee’s and dresses. Rather than buying anything specifically maternity, things that are generally expensive and hard to find in charity shops,  I just bought BIG. I found some incredibly cool tops and dresses for a few pounds in charity shops. Size 16 covered my bump totally and were really styley.
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3- Even bigger knickers. One thing you should probably buy new are big pants. BIIIIG PANTS. The last thing you need is elastic cutting into your thighs. I invested in some massive undies at about 5 months and my body was immediately like “Thaaaaank youuuuuuu!” Yes, Tim would chuckle at the sight of me with knickers up to my armpits but no regrets, no regrets at all.

4- Comfy shoes. I was keeping my eyes peeled for comfy shoes from very early on as I know my feet have a pregnancy knack for loosing all form, and moving around gets tricky enough without having shoes that are not quite right. (Most of you probably have comfy shoes already eh? I am the worst, opting always for cool over comfort. Such a vanity.) I found these trainers in Oxfam for £4 and wore them every moment of every day.

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Most high street brands do maternity clothes now but I had amazing luck with getting everything secondhand. Here a few places to get looking:

5 – Charity Shops. In particular look in the larger sizing sections, there tends to be stuff that isn’t quickly nabbed by fashionistas but is still really wicked, if a top is waaaay too big you can always fling an extra seam down the sides and bring it down a size. I bought about 4 £3 tees that I wore non-stop. If you are after specific maternity bits and bobs, the charity shop FARA often have a big maternity section in their kid’s stores.

6 – Ebay. using in particular the Ebay “saved search” function. I had in mind that I NEEDED a pair of floral leggings so I saved a search for “floral leggings” in Size 12. It took a few weeks but because of the alert function I didn’t have to keep searching but I missed not a single pair and finally nabbed the ones that I wore CONSTANTLY! (They are in the above picture.)

7 – Swap shops. Get thee to a swap immediately! Swap some of those tiny wee items you are not going to fit in for YONKS and bring home some plus-sized clothing. At a Christmas swap I found a beautiful retro polo neck (in genuine polyester) that I actually wore every day. And it was freeeeeeee.

8 – Start Early
Start keeping your eyes peeled really early. From about 2 months in, long before I needed to change my wardrobe, I started looking for bigger leggings and large tops in preperation. I was really generous with sizing because….

9 – Be realistic
You will not only get a bump, but your boobs will grow, your hips will widen, your bum will PILE IT ON and your arms will get chunky too. It would be wonderful if it was just the bump to take into account but our bodies need to plump up all round (honestly, they neeeed to. Eat more cake.) Consider this and be careful as you buy for the future trimesters, you don’t want lots of clothes that just don’t fit.

10 – Don’t look
It is probably the hardest one, especially if you are excited about your growing bump. But the truth is, if you really want to save money on maternity gear you must avoid the maternity mags and aisles as much as possible! They will trip you up and plunder your pockets. Remember it is such a short period in your life it isn’t worth spending masses on loads of proper pregnancy gear. Resist, resist, resist. Think of all the cake you could buy with your saved pennies…

 What saved you money with your maternity wear? Do reveal your secrets!

PS This was a sponsored post, do check out my disclosure policy for more info.

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London’s Best Car Boot Sales

Whenever we leave London for a countryside adventure we make it a priority to visit car boot sales – there is nothing like scrabbling around a windy field in someone else’s rural junk. It is such a different kind of cast off, there is more tweed and wool and much less “Yes, it is VINTAGE, dahlink.”

But I love the fact that we have so many local London sales – we can spend every minute of every weekend rooting around other people’s dusty possessions if we want (we do want.)

London’s car boot scene is pretty diverse – if you are after something pretty special for a gift those “vintage, dahlink” ones are perfect. Equally though, there are a good crowd of car boots where “vintage” still simply means “really old, noone will want this, put 10p on it” – you might have to search harder but amidst the 6 months out-of-date packets of crisps and plastic toys they’ll be some hidden gems.

Battersea and Wimbledon are well known, but there are others that don’t get much of a shout-out. Always the promoter of the underdog, here are a few others; car boot sales which I reckon are the best. London’s top five!

Car boot vintage suitcases

5- Dulwich Hamlet Football Club, East Dulwich
This is only a small one but it has a great starting time (11am) and is very close to East Dulwich train station, a ten minute ride from Victoria. It is my local so I pop up there often and have found some seriously great stuff. It is worth going to even if you aren’t local because then you can nip down to Lordship Lane and rummage in the vintage boutiques and charity shops and grab a beautiful lunch in the Deli or the many independent cafes. Sundays, 50p Entry, Edgar Kail Way, SE22 8BD

4- Old Kent Road Car Boot Sale, South London
This is run by the same people as East Dulwich, but is brand new. It is a little harder to get to – about a 20 minute walk from New Cross Gate station or South Bermondsey. It gets to number 4 as I got some TOTAL BARGAINS there last time. I spent about a fiver and got a beautiful quilt, a Peppa Pig toy for Ramona, a vintage parasol and a few knick knacks. I was 40 weeks pregnant and on my bike and had to use various bits of string to tie it all on my back. I had quite a few gawkers on my way home HA!  It is a nice and early one -  one to sneak in before you head off on another Sunday adventure. Sundays, 50p entry 8.00am – THE CLUB, Hornshay Street, SE15 1HB

London's Top Five Car Boot Sales

3- The one at your local school.
YES! YOUR local school! Once a term schools will often have a fair and these can be the absolute BEST places to nab a steal. Why traipse around London when you can nip around the corner and have a rummage? The only setback is that you kind of need to keep your eyes peeled for signage or keep in touch with the local paper to hear about it. Worth it though.London's Top Five Car Boot Sales

2- Capital Car Boot, Pimlico
Capital Car Boot is a car boot sale that has entered 2013, unlike nearly every single other which tends to be happily settled in the 1970′s, free from most marketing and online presence. Pimlico’s car boot is full of hipsters and gorgeous vintage stuff, but there are great deals to be had particualry compared to normal vintage boutiques. They are in second position because I have spent WAY TOO LONG poking through hedges trying to find elusive car boots that are meant to be on and aren’t and there is no info to be found about it. This one pretty much goes rain or shine and you can find them all over the web. Sundays, Pimlico Academy, Lupus St, SW1V 3AT. £1 from 1pm.

1- Hayes Street Farm, Hayes
This has all the bonuses of a rural car boot yet is only 40 minutes on a train from London Bridge – you can even use your Oyster. From the station it is a ten minute walk, whereupon you will find a MAHUSIVE field filled with country folk and city slickers and the most fabulous array of cheap, cheap knick knacks. It is my favourite London Car Boot fair by about a million and I’d say 50% of all of my booty has come from here. 50p entry from 6am, although I have been at 9 before and got some ace swag. 239 Hayes Lane, BR2 7LB. Get there on the double!!

(Like many of the bigger car boot sales there are people here who, at the end of the morning, collect up seller’s unsold stuff and pay a bit of dosh for it – a bonus bit of of clothes recycling that’ll get car booters a few extra bob and stop stuff going into land fill.)

If you are not in London check out Car Boot Junction for other sales – but remember to call to see it is going ahead.

Part of the beauty of car boot sales, of course, is their hit and miss nature. You just never know if you are going to strike gold or spend a morning in the cold and come out with NADA. Isn’t it this exact thing that makes them so tantalising?! So now, all I can do is give you my faves, but from here you are on your own. I wish you all the bargain-busting luck in the world, my friends. Go well.

What are you favourite London Car Boot sales?

PS This was a sponsored post, do check out my disclosure policy for more info.

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Babywearing: Three easy and quick DIY sling tutorials

I simply don’t know how mothers who aren’t into babywearing do it. Without a wrap or sling how on earth do you keep your newborn happy whilst continuing to tweet on the loo/  stand in front of the fridge for endless minutes picking your way through leftovers and the chocolates your toddler received in honour of becoming a big sister/ wash off  the paint toddler has plastered all over her face whilst breastfeeding newborn? Also, babywearing is PERFECT for disguising the fact that you are in the supermarket in your milk stained pajama top.

Like many parents we have a couple of different slings – ones for different occasions and timeframes in our daughters life. For these early days I find a stretchy wrap invaluable- it is so comfortable for me and snug for the little lady. I also find a ring sling handy too- it is easy to whip them in and out for pottytunities (we do EC with our daughters.) However, I seem to produce Gold Top milk that soon sees our babies piling on the pounds and becoming rather, um, BONNY, so by 3-4 months need to upgrade to something sturdier like my woven Didymos wrap. Most babies will get to at least 6 months with a ring sling or stretchy.

I have made each one of the following slings and recommend them wholeheartedly- they are genuinely first rate, even though they are cheapskate and will meet all your babywearing needs in the thriftiest possible manner.

1- A stretchy woven – 5 minutes to make, £7
DIY stretchy wrap tutorial

Here is how: DIY stretchy wrap tutorial babywearing

You will end up with one loooong bit of fabric (5 metres suits most, I made mine shorter, around 4 m) which can then be tied into all sorts of wraps- I use this pre-tie the most (click here for demo.)

If you use tee shirt material you won’t even need to hem it but if you use something lighter like gauze you will need to hem it to stop it fraying.

2- A ring sling, 30 minutes to make, £10Three DIY  slings babywearing

My friend made this one for me, using some beautiful sari material and some heavy duty curtain hooks. Here is an identical tutorial.

(Do excuse these heavily vintaged-up photos, I am clearly trying to hide away my pokey, tired peepers!)

3- Mei Tai carrier, 2 hours, £15

I used this tutorial from the beaut Grumbles and Grunts but adapted it to turn it into a toddler carry by making it slightly bigger and adding loads of stuffing. In some ways it was a blazing success – soooo comfortable for carting my two and a half year old about. In other ways it was an utter failure; I added so much padding (like, 2 pillows worth of stuffing HA) that it was incredibly bulky and was, strangely, like carrying a toddler and 2 pillows about…Three DIY babywearing tutorials

So maybe stick to the simple version, it should see your tot through to about two years old.

Right, I’m off to go and graze in front of the fridge again.

What stuff do you get up to with a baby velcroed on to your chest? Have you found any brilliant babywearing tutorials?

PS I’d hate for you to miss a post… enter your email to get them pinged into your inbox. I won’t be spamalot, promise!


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Elimination Communication: Nappyfree Newborn

Our little Juno has been on the outside for almost two weeks and what a magnificent little poppet she is. She stoically snoozes through Ramona’s loving cuddles and smooches and gives us smiles (WHATEVER! NEWBORNS DO SMILE!) and makes the cutest little sleep growls.

Breastfeeding has been a breeze until the last couple of days – suddenly I am dealing with MASSIVE oversupply meaning Juno veers from being like a deliriously happy drunk to acting like she has dined on razor blades- until that huge burp makes an appearance. It has actually made for a few stressful nursing times, which has knocked me for six a bit. Being more diligent with positioning and just waiting for my milk to regulate should fix it.

Ramona meanwhile, is being a total star about the big change, continuing to be a complete hoot (she has taken to using my languishing breastpads like a mobile phone, chattering away to her friends. I mean, really, how much more comfy for your ear? Mobile phone creators could take some inspiration from this, I tell you) and taking it all in her stride.

One thing we are doing quite differently with Juno compared to Ramona’s early days is Elimination Communication- this is the idea that babies are born ready to communicate about when they need to go to the toilet. We did do this with Ramona (read all about that here) but began when she was around 12 weeks old. Doing it with a newborn is BONKERS!

The first addictive catch
Juno had only been out of the womb for a few hours, we were all tucked up in bed, but she was a little unsettled and wouldn’t latch on properly. I suggested we might hold her over the potty and Tim duly did so. Out burst a joyous wee, glowing with freedom, and Juno instantly shut her eyes and nodded off. Tim and I just looked at each other in flabbergastedment and cracked the heck up.

nappyfree newborn

We are by no means catching everything, maybe only 60% of poos and wees, but it is an incredibly helpful parenting tool for newborns. So, SO, often – even more pronounced at night- Juno will be grunting and squiriming and complaining, a little hold over the pot soon sees her releasing all that caramelly poop and she will immediately be happier. It really seems as if at least a third of her cries are to do with the sensation of needing to go. The experience is convincing me that newborns come out with the ability to tell us about three needs- tiredness, hunger, and elimination. I think “The Hold” (see pictures!) is really comfortable for them- often Juno will just begin a nap inbetween her poo and wee- and allows them to really empty their system.

Practicalities
We tend to sit her on a cloth nappy, tucked in the sling, or on my lap, and then we chuck them in the wash if she does her business on there. We still get alot of stealthy wees and poos so are easily going through the same amount of washes (10 nappies a dayish) compared to normal cloth nappying, so we are yet to see any laundry benefits from EC (that comes a bit later.) We have cartons and bowls and potties tucked around the house so that we can whip one under Juno if we sense a Number coming on. It doesn’t feel like more work than normal nappy changing, and I feel it is really helping Juno’s comfort levels.

Too much information action shot (look away if eating a succulent korma)
newborn elimination communication

Ramona is a big help- when Juno is wriggling she’ll ask her “Ooh, do you need to do a Number, Juno?” and while we hold her over the potty Ramona will sing the “Come on poo” song (What, you don’t have a poo song?!) and will even empty it down the toilet for us.

So, there you go-  in some ways a typical two weeks in the life of a newborn; milk, sleep, poos and wees, and in other ways, well, just a little bit mindboggling!

PS I’d hate for you to miss a post… enter your email to get them pinged into your inbox. I won’t be spamalot, promise!


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Hello Juno! Our new little girl

On Thursday 25th April we welcomed little Juno into the world!
She is a total delight; downy skin, rolls of chub and alert, bright eyes.

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She is an expert breastfeeder and spends most of her time showing off her expertise!

Ramona is so far loving her little sister, kisses and cuddles are flowing in abundance. We have had some tandem nursing happening which is lovely, Ramona gently strokes her little sister, but also seems like a big entanglement of limbs. I need to work on my technique!

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Juno’s birth journey didn’t follow quite the path we’d imagined, primarily due to me showing signs of infection, and we spent the last few hours in hospital. However, it was a still a gentle and peaceful entry for her and an empowering experience for me and the four of us were tucked up in bed together by night time.

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We have also caught a fair few wees, Juno makes it really obvious when she needs to go. So looks like our second nappyfree baby is keen to start

Over the moon that this little treasure has joined us!

Posted in Attachment parenting, Nappyfree, Parenting | 42 Comments

Ch-ching: A Tory raid on childhood

The joy of icebreakers, eh? My favourite one is where you say one truth and one lie and people have to guess which one is accurate. People can NEVER believe that I taught Richard Branson how to do the classic nineties dance move, the Running Man.  I love the incredulity shining out of their peepers. Richard Branson?? The Running Man???

Part of my work involves training people in campaigning techniques and political how-to, so one icebreaker we roll out out involves people choosing a position on the cabinet and then coming up with their first big policy proposal. I often make up both the position and a ridiculous policy; “I’m the Minister for Thrift and my first policy is that people need to have darned the holes in their socks at least 3 times before buying a new pair, and also, charity shops that smell of wee will be penalised”   – because SOMEONE has to be a bit of a clown and try and get a chuckle or at least a smile in these most awkward but obligatory ever-so-slightly-warming-the-frozen-water sessions.

The policy proposals offered up are almost always crackpot, parodies of what cabinet ministers might come up with. The best suggestions (from the people who were aware of the need for icebreakers to be a bit giggly) defied logic, commonly went against common sense and -the cleverest- would reject expert research in the field.

Pretty much exactly like the policies our current government is coming up with. 

I haven’t blogged too much about the Tory’s onslaught on the UK’s poor and vulnerable, their attack on social justice and fairness, the damage they are doing to communities that will be felt for generations. There was just such an inevitability to it, I have been resigned to their benefit cuts and austerity bollocks as it was absolutely bound to happen from the moment a disempowered public nodded their desire for political change. (Not that I’ve been quiet about my disgust, it’s just Twitter has been the primary outlet for my #toryrage.)

They have just been doing what Tories do.

But there have been a couple of ministers in the news the last few days who have really gone for this policy parody effect in a big way. Policy suggestions that would be perfect ice breaker material, but less giggle inducing and more jaw dropping because, of course, these are REAL ministers having ACTUAL ideas that may become policy.

First, Gove suggests longer school days for our already overstretched and exhausted children. Partly to make it easier for working parents (although as Glosswitch points out in her awesome write-up there are already means for children to stay at school until 4:30 through optional  after school activities) but of course, primarily, to “improve performance”   – so our kids can grow up to defeat other countries in the unsustainable and misguided battle for economic supremacy.

And now Truss, Childcare Minister, is working her nonsense on nurseries, suggesting that all the efforts of the childcare industry to represent what experts say about child development should be reversed. She wants our toddlers doing educational, adult led, structured activity to prepare them for sitting in classrooms and eventually becoming obedient citizens.

Forget that play has been overwhelming proved to be the most constructive way our children learn, forget that supporting autonomy in toddlers helps them to be intrinsically motivated for their whole lives, forget that our toddler’s rambunctiousness is a beautiful and natural thing that shouldn’t be repressed by squawking about “unruliness.”

Truss’s comment that the whipper snappers are”running around with no sense of purpose” reveals a distinct lack of tot-time. Being in the presence of a two year old is to be taught a lesson in intention. Ramona is absolutely determined to put every single item daring to lie idly around the kitchen into the washing machine, she is doggedly committed to hiding keys and wallets at every available opportunity and resolute in pouring any liquid she sees into another vessel, and another, and another! It might be messy but she is absorbed in her life’s current purpose- discovering EVERYTHING.

A Tory raid on childhoodShe is only 2 and a half but can write her name – the power of child-led learning! (Total jokes, she doesn’t even know what R looks like and I’m proud! We’ve managed to resist “educating” our tot, and therefore not denying her the joy of finding out something new herself)

We often go to our local nursery to play- they let non-attendees come and enjoy the facilities, and I love to see the free playing these kids do, encouraged and supported by their childcare workers. They are an army of bairns hell bent on exploring and enjoying. It is a wonderful setting, the result of years of robust research about childhood and brain development.

These comments from Gove and Truss are a testament to right-wing belief that the human existence is only worthwhile if it is economically useful, that people are only ever as valuable as their financial contribution to society. Even our children are being reduced to sources of potential GDP. This belief sours faith in people, tears down communities, pits one against another and stomps all over concepts of beauty and creativity.

These suggestions are a raid on childhood, on innocence, on imagination, even on commonsense and research. These ministers are looking at our kids and thinking “ch-ching”- seeing them merely untapped sacks of gold for the Treasury.

These hopes are simply in line with a Tory strategy to create a whole society of financial contributors and quiet obeyers. Of desk sitters who question nothing and accept everything until we are top of the global rung once again.

Despite this terrible intent, it is SO very hard to take them seriously, when every minister seems to be on a quest to make themselves sound the most like a character from “The Thick of It”.

But, we must take them seriously as their quest also involves taking all the goodness out of the world.

Thank this very goodness that the combination of these two things mean they will never ever in a million years get voted in for another term. I say this really confidently now. I believe in people too much. There are too many lovers to allow people haters to run the country.

I think the artists, the rebels, the celebrators of innocence, the wild imaginatives,  the advocates of social justice, the kind neighbours and the protectors of childhood are gathering with an urgent sense of purpose (taught by our pre-schoolers.) There is an unruly crowd calling out icebreakery political quackery and gunning for goodness instead.

 

PS I am ESPECIALLY mad because these absurd ministers have provoked me out of my baby moon hibernation- an intricate process of helping that pesky, thinking bit of my brain, the neocortex, to retreat so I can labour and birth womb-baby in peace. HUH. If this baby doesn’t come soon it’s those bladdy Tories. *blames everything on the Tories*

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