Attachment parenting, Breastfeeding, Cosleeping

Co sleeping with toddler: The good and the bad

24 March, 2016

Co sleeping with toddler age kiddies is a bit of a mixed bag. In the middle of the night a few days ago Ramona shuffled over to Tim, climbed up so her bum was right in his face and did a whopping toot. Then she clambered back down to her spot and returned to sleep. Oh, how Tim and I didst laugh- the timing was impeccable.

Farts- when it comes to making a list of pros and cons of co sleeping with toddler or baby – where do they come? No one likes little clouds of excrement in their nostrils but the comical effect of tiny bottom coughs are right up there. It is a dilemma, for sure. I’ll have to leave it hanging in the midst there.

Now, we always knew we would cosleep. We didn’t even buy a crib. (Read about this beautiful family who came round to the idea of co sleeping – Thalia has a whole series on their co sleeping process!) And I have to say, the good side has always, since day one, outweighed the bad. You can read all my writing on co sleeping here.

Here is the rest of my list.co sleeping with toddler

THE PROS OF CO SLEEPING WITH TODDLER RAMONA

  • My toddler’s morning kisses are definitely number one. Ramona wakes up, stretches and immediately finds my face for a kiss, as if she is so stoked to begin a new day with me as her mummy.
  • I am with her through her dreams and nightmares. Co sleeping allows me to hear her giggle in her sleep and I equally love that when she whimpers with fright or discomfort she somehow knows I am just a breath away.
  • Co sleeping provided another way for Tim to be with her through my maternity leave when he wasn’t getting to hang out with her nearly as much as me. There is a BEAUTY article here where a cosleeping daddy shares his thoughts.
  • Co sleeping has eased my transition back to part time work as I get to make up for any missed cuddles throughout the night. Just breathing in her hair as I go to sleep helps me to treasure her right now, in this very moment.
  • We didn’t have to spend any money on a baby room and crib. Our spare room is just a dumping ground spare room complete with double bed.
  • I like to think toddler co sleeping has given Ramona a real security around night times, that she will always associate bed time with comfort and met needs rather than being alone.
  • I am able to keep in touch with her potty needs, aware of her nightly wee rhythm and giving her chance to pee as soon as she needs it.


CONS OF CO SLEEPING WITH TODDLER RAMONA

  • Unlimited, non stop access to her milk source! Mostly this is fine, she onlyΒ  helps her self one or two times a night and it isn’t enough to really wake either of us, but sometimes, like last night, it is NONSTOP and well, drives me a little, er, insane.
  • If Ramona wees the bed it is a whole load in the washing machine rather than a tiny little crib change.

 

Toddler co sleeping truth

Amazing illustration of toddler co sleeping postions on Howtobeadad.com

TODDLER CO SLEEPING PSEUDO-CONS
(things about toddler co sleeping that should be bad but aren’t really)

  • I definitely thought Ramona’s movement would bother us a bit more. We are pretty fortunate that she actually doesn’t shuffle around at all. When our little nephew used to come and stay he would Jazz Hand us ALL NIGHT and we vowed to never have our kiddies in bed!
  • A few people have mentioned the lack of marital space which I agree I thought initially would be an issue for us. However I don’t really have those distinctions in my mind – “Tim and I”/ “Ramona” – I just kind of see us as one little family, sharing everything and doing life all together. We make an effort to spend a day alone together every now and then, and
  • I also thought I would struggle with Ramona’s lack of “sleep independance” but since her arrival I have had a total turn around on this and instead feel like it is just natural for her to need the comfort of us for a while.

I really love hearing stories of people’s cosleeping experiences –this nice article by Dr Sears has lots of parents talking about the “protective effect” of cosleeping.

What are some of the things you love about cosleeping? And some of the things you find hard?

 

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7 Comments

  • Reply The Barefoot Crofter 29 January, 2012 at 9:03 pm

    Love those sleep positions. I think we have experienced them all at some point. Still co- sleeping most of the night – 5 years later. J starts off in his own bed but staggers through in the wee small hours. He does kick the covers off a lot – he says he gets hot feet, but he also likes to sleep in the middle, so it can become a bit of a wrestle then. I do likevto wake up beside him, though – it feels natural and right. xx

  • Reply minibreakmummy 29 January, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    Those ‘baby sleep positions’ pictures made me laugh out loud πŸ˜‰

  • Reply Ms Xpat (@MsXpat) 19 November, 2012 at 12:37 am

    LOL I love the graphics. We have the 360 degree spinning toddler. And there is now way we could ever do the parents sleeping at the foot of the bed. All of us are tall, so when it gets a bit rough for bump and I, I leave hubby and toddler in the big bed and I sleep on my our toddlers single bed, thankfully he’s warming up to bed sharing with his dad and no longer wakes and come looking for me, if/when I leave them to sleep together.

  • Reply Co-Sleeping Converts #1: The First Six Months | sacraparental 4 March, 2013 at 9:11 am

    […] More interesting for some will be the co-sleeping pros and cons from the wonderful Lucy at Lulastic: […]

  • Reply Laura 25 March, 2016 at 2:08 am

    I enjoyed reading this. I have been co sleeping with 2 little people which has been a real struggle, but now my oldest has decided she likes her own bed (age 4) and I’m so pleased we left her to it as I feel she has total comfort and security at nighttime which really shows in her blooming confidence. I now just have my
    Nearly 2 year old who is non stop on the milk tap all night…..oh well I can handle that now I have more than an inch of space to lie in!!

  • Reply Becky 26 March, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    My little girl has slept with me from 6months (where I found myself back at my parents with little items) – she’s just turned 5 and still sleeps in my bed and will probably continue till the day she asks to sleep in her own bed. Yes I have a few more sleepless nights where I get kicked in the head but the positives always out weight that odd night. She growing up too fast and i want to treasure every moment I can.

  • Reply Linda 4 April, 2016 at 9:27 am

    I love the talks we have before sleep and when we wake up.. (She usually tells me her dreams in the morning… to give an example) I love the fact that I could breastfeed her for so long. Downsides were that she sometimes drank so often that it hurt me physically… This usually meant that she she didn’t eat enough or I didn’t drink enough during the day.. (or both) Now that she’s stopped drinking (after 4 years and 6 months) I sleep way more although I still am woken up by her because she searches me and wants to hold my earlobe and my cheek.. πŸ™‚ My son stopped sleeping with us since he was 7 and prefers his own bed and we as a family really still miss him next to us..(he’s 8 now) but he just sleeps better and so do we if he has his own space.. I’ve asked him if he wants to have his own bed in our room but he says he doesn’t want to.. πŸ™ Although he doesn’t mind me falling asleep with him in his bed. And hugs and kisses me so so much πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ When he has bad dreams and he want to be with us, he sleeps with us in our bed and that feels like the good old days, when we all slept together.. although my partner sometimes chooses to sleep in his bed then. It is still so lovely to see them all asleep at the same time.. I treasure looking at them at night or hearing them talk in their sleep.. Ooh and morning giggles in their dreams minutes before they wake up are so lovely!

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