A few weeks ago Ramona woke up in the middle of the night, full of beans. She sleeps in the middle of the two of us, so if she wakes one of us can cuddle her back into dreamland. This time she woke up instantly, and gleefully, and she shouted “LEEEG! Where ARE YOUUUU? There you are! Other leg?! Where aaare youuuu?? FOUND you!”
Yes, YES, my friends. She was playing hide and seek with her limbs.
After stifling my giggles I stroked her head and she snuggled back down into a deep sleep.
People ask us alot if Ramona, just over two, will ever have her own room. I suspect she will one day, but we are in no hurry at all to usher her out. It is too much of a crack up! Ha. But, really, I still just find it the most perfect way for us. I know that she sees it as her place too for now, and that that won’t last forever- it won’t be long before she will be hankering after her own space I am sure.
One of the primary reasons I am still enjoying cosleeping with our toddler is the almost subconscious connection it gives us. I have had to work some crazy long days over the last few months, having breakfast with Tim and Ramona before leaving and not seeing them until Ramona is fast asleep. Getting to breathe in my daughter’s presence, to have her find my hand in the night, to share dreams seems to make up for missing out on a whole day.
I find cosleeping helpful too after a day of being together but being a bit out-of-sync. You know those days? When it is hard to put an agenda aside, when you miss the cues, when playing is last on your to-do list and you end up handing your child over to that magnificent pair of scallywags, Charlie and Lola, on Youtube? A fresh start and a new dawn is ALWAYS helpful, but I sometimes wonder if sharing sleep gives it an extra boost. That by being close for those night time hours just helps us to re-connect and find our natural parent-child rhythm again.
Last week I heard about the term the Japanese use for cosleeping, where the Family Bed is the norm until kids are quite old; it is “Kawa”. Kawa is the same character used for a river cascading between between two banks; they see parents as the strong, supportive edges, the life-giving river child flowing through them. How beautiful! An anthropological study found that the Japanese see cosleeping as a way of nurturing interdependence between child and parent, an interdependence that fosters good relationship for life.
Perhaps cosleeping isn’t for everyone, I do know lots of parents who just wouldn’t entertain the idea. I would never in a Brazillion years tell a parent what to do, or judge them for not doing what I do. But I hate that many parents are scared into not cosleeping. The way the media report cosleeping is incredibly skewed, citing examples where clearly unsafe practices have been used (bed sharing when drunk/ excess bedding) to deter it. It saddens me that fear and propaganda would drive people away from this beautiful, ancient way to connect – particularly when countries that practice cosleeping have the least incidence of SIDS.
Admittedly, I am pleased as a pickle in punch that I am not nursing through the night anymore, and happy that Tim is able to comfort Ramona as much as I now. I reckon being the solo night nurturer for two would be exhausting. But I am excited about this little womb-baby emerging into our family bed in the Spring time. Where the four of us can laugh at each other’s crazy sleep talk, bond in our dreams and wake up facing the day together.
I just hope the two kids don’t start playing dream Hide and Seek together – that would be far too raucous, thanks….
PPS I’d hate for you to miss a post… enter your email to get them pinged into your inbox. I won’t be spamalot, promise!