We’ve been living a pretty toy-less existence for the last six months, travelling around in a Campervan. It’s been amazing to see just how happy the children are without their normal stash of playthings.
A few toys can be fantastic, but the fact is most of us have MORE than a few; many of us have homes filled to the brim to toys and we can’t take any more! Too many toys can push a child’s imagination right under the bed and will eventually wreck the planet our children have got to enjoy for the rest of their lives. (Read my thoughts on that here.)
But friends, Aunties, grandparents and neighbours want to show loooove! It’s the kid’s BIRTHDAY! It’s CHRISTMAS!
Well. Thank goodness for this here list. There are so many alternatives. Millions (okay, here there are sixty but I’m sure we’ve still only scratched the surface!) of ways to show you care, and for the most part they fire a child’s imagination and cause less havoc for the environment. Many of them are free, or cheap and plenty of them can be found in charity shops. There is a common theme of taking children seriously- of trusting them and their abilities, of giving them tools to create.
(When a celebration is coming up and it’s a pressie-giving kind of time, I reckon a good, frank chat is the best starting point. The child/ parents have a better idea about what the child would enjoy/ needs like a hole in the head. But the second port of call should be this list, for sure. Bookmark it, dudes.)
Here we go….
I am reading “Escape from Childhood” by John Holt at the moment and the thing he is really convincing me of is how much kids NEED to be useful. Exactly like adults! They love to be taken seriously, to have serious implements and to be able to truly, genuinely help and build and be busy working.
A pocket knife. Every kid age 4+ needs a good simple pocket knife, a lesson in using it safely (sitting down, striking away from you, with an adult in range) and a bit of wood to carve.
Same goes with a proper hammer and nails. Throw in some wheels and planks and they’ll be set for days.
Other tools. Toolboxes filled with things were a massive hit; rope, screws, pulleys etc.
Gardening equipment- a proper trowel, some organic slug killer and some seeds.
A greenhouse. A reader says “When I was 9 I got a greenhouse. To this day it is still my beys Christmas present ever as I spent hours with my Grandad learning how to grow food.”
A small fruit tree to grow and nurture.
Cress seeds were specified for very young children- imagine helping to feed your family at only age 2?! Plus they pop up all year round and don’t take as much patience. You can also make them a head to grow them in so it looks like hair! Classic!
My sister put together a survival kit for her six year old son- a good rope, pegs and a tarpaulin for den making, camo paint, a good torch. Flipping heck, that was a hit.
A wind up torch. Sustainable and fascinating for children.
A good baking bowl, a whisk, some scales. Show them you have faith in their ability to make something yummy.
The ingredients to make something yummy! One reader explains about the special thing she did for Christmas “I once gave my daughter’s friend a bag filled with the ingredients, Christmas cutters and the recipe to make their own Christmas gingerbread. They loved it.”
Kitchen implements- one tweeter is getting her 2.5 year old son a peeler with a big handle as he genuinely loves helping in the kitchen. One reader received a sieve when she was young and it was her favourite present ever. I think I might get my three year old a good grater- they are so fulfilled when they are doing something worthwhile. A garlic press was another great suggestion. And every kid needs an apron.
Their own cookery book.
Something to pull apart- give them a screw driver and an old type writer and the afternoon to take it to bits and explore it’s inners.
A rock tumbler. A reader explains “I loved collecting rocks when I was about 9- it was so cool being able to polish them!”
A magnifying glass and a book of British Insects.
A microscope “I spent months finding things to look at and getting family members to guess what it was- the best was tiny slivers of onion skin.”
Binoculars – plus a guide to bird and wildlife.
A calligraphy pen, nibs and ink. “I was given these age ten, and shown how to use it. I still have it!”
The emphasis here is on good quality stuff. Just like adults, children deserve to work with good quality materials. It is frustrating scrawling on crap paper with crayons that barely make a mark. Seeing the vivid colours of acrylic paint on canvas is much more likely to stoke a child’s passion for creating art, no?
A ball of bright coloured, good wool and instructions for finger knitting will open up a whole new meditative world.
Ingredients for DIY porcelain clay- a little box with corn flour and bicarb and instructions. They’ll love the making and the shaping.
Proper non toxic acrylic paint and proper paintbrushes.
A good quality sketch book.
A selection of blank canvases and an easel.
A candle making kit. (I have made candles since I was 11 when I got my first kit and loved it. And the only fire I caused was when I was 22 and being VERY experimental. Just a shame the fire happened on my future in laws dining table.)
A perfume making kit – what a cool way to learn about chemicals and stuff.
A sewing machine. I got my first when I was 12 and after a fairly quick lesson from my Aunty have seen ever since.
A hand sewing kit with fabric, needles and threads.
A box of craft materials that is all their own- ribbon, pipe cleaners, beads, buttons, fimo etc.
Jars of homemade playdough and a box of cutters and tools (found in secondhand shops.)
A box. It was the third best gift, suggested by over thirty people! The best explanation comes from reader, Clare “The best ‘present’ I ever got was a great big cardboard box. I made it into a house and played in it for YEARS. The best thing about it was that my parents got really involved in it- my mum made curtains for it and they never complained about having a tatty old hoc in the living room and let me keep it as long as I wanted.”
CULTURISING (y’know, like, doing culture)
A mixtape – burn a cd with a selection of fun songs. Ramona has been given some of these and they are her favourite gift by a mile.
Audiobooks- Roald Dahl stories are fantastic and tantalise imaginative minds.
A subscription to a magazine such as National Geographic. A reader explains how she felt about her subscription given to her by her neighbour age six, “At first, we just looked at the pictures but I read more each year as I grew. In our sleepy village,nit was a very welcome window into different cultures. And I always felt very grown up and acknowledged when I read them.”"
A good drum, maracas, a ukelele. A good xylophone. The brain patterns used in music are the same as those used in maths so giving kids the tools to create music is important. And fun. But make sure they are GOOD- in tune etc or children will lose interest.
A song. Rope people in to help you, friends to strum chords on the guitar. Record it on YouTube and send it to them! We have done this a few times, it’s weird and fun. Write your own or just change a few lyrics to an existing one.
Investment in a creative venture- for example Hadar Manor is crowd funding her new album and in return for contributing you can get anything from a shout out on the album to a personalised song, written sung and recorded for you.
A poem. No, really, really! How special, for a kid to have their own poem. Written on beautiful paper. For them to treasure.
A story. We often tell Ramona a tale about when she is a brave knight. How about writing a story about them? Or drawing a comic featuring them? It doesn’t need to be about them. Ramona’s grandad typed out a story for her about his cats, complete with actual photos. She adores it!
Lost My Name team sent Ramona and Juno personalised books featuring their name. The stories are totally unique, funny and the illustration is cracking without any rubbish gender stereotypes.
Books, books and more books. This was the most popular response by miles. The child especially enjoys receiving a book with meaning- one mum explains “her eyes light up when I say “this is something I loved when I was little, and I thought you’d like me to read it to you.”
Last Christmas we were living on the other side of the world to my husbands family. They sent over a book that they had recorded the story into- Ramona loves hearing the voices of her Grandparents, Aunties and Uncles reading to her.
A photo album or scrap book. Reader Sally explains that her three year old loves these.
Days out were probably the second top answer. Kids love hanging out doing stuff, and memories last WAY longer than toys.
A season pass or vouchers to something- an outdoor play area, a private woods such as Westonburt or a wildlife lark or donkey sanctuary.
A micro love bomb- let them have a whole evening hanging out with you, doing WHATEVER they want. Like, really, anything. (Based on Oliver James’ miraculous Love Bomb idea- a whole weekend to reset connection and attachment.)
A micro adventure- grab a tent, pack a little gas cooker and have a night in the local woods. Even London has accessible woods you can do this in.
A visit to stables to ride on a horse- Ramona adored this for her third birthday. A reader adds that when she was seven she was given a Shetland pony-owning day “7 year old heaven!”
One reader had a day of work experience at a farm when she was a child and she cherishes that memory.
A tent and sleeping bags to camp out in the garden.
A day out in a big city- the museums, a picnic, feeding the skanky pigeons, climbing the towers.
A den building afternoon. Take wood, hammers and nails and build a fort together in the local woods.
A course. Six weeks of a children’s photography or pottery or dance classes.
Adopt a whale/ dog/ monkey. This is a delightful idea, the child has a sense of investment with an animal and they can make a real difference for a charity.
A box of second hand clothes and costume jewellery for a fancy dress department. One Tweeter said the stash she was given included a WEDDING DRESS. Brilliant.
An experience for a baby- a jar of beads, jewels and shells for them to shake and look at.
And another idea for a baby- a box of tissues entirely theirs to pull out. (This is probably my favourite of them all- even at seven months old Juno has worked out how to undo the lid of the baby wipes and delights in pulling them out.)
What an epic, epic list. Thanks to everyone for sharing your ideas and stories. I am inspired and have my kid’s pressies SORTED: a grater for Ramona and a box for Juno.
Have a fantastic, present- moderate, thrifty, imaginative Christmas!