When life lives you rather than you living life

Life this week has been in HD. Everything has felt extreme. I don’t know if this is because I am in a state of malnourished-guru-in-the-desert-style hallucination (it’s this Live Below the Line business- ha, you probably don’t even know I’m doing it! I’ve hardly mentioned it at all!) or if it is classic “it doesn’t rain, it pours” life.

I feel like life is a ship, forging it’s way through great crashing waves of joy, incompetence,  sorrow, bafflement and I am just clinging to a mangy little bit of canvas sail, wondering where the steering wheel thingy is.

(Partly because I want to know who’s captaining this puppy but also because, flipping heck, wouldn’t one of those vintage, rusting, wooden ship wheel thingys look BRILLIANT on the wall of the lounge????)

Here is what is happening:

We had the supremely STUNNING new vintage lifestyle mag Pretty Nostalgic come to our weird little recycled home for a photoshoot and interview. Jo and Jenny came, such lovely characters, and we just chatted and hung out and laughed and they left the first issue and it inspired my soul.

Due to that we have been putting in body achingly long hours tidying and DIYing those leftover jobs. Evenings spent dusting (first time since we moved in I think?), spare moments spent sanding and sewing and screwing (screws into walls, yeah? Filthy, you are. ) We are SO HAPPY having this tidy, clean, house just the way we like it! HURRAH!

Ramona is a sick little sausage, an ear infection and a hacking old flem cough. She nurses all night, and all day at the moment. But she is still a comedic, gorgous, little madam, just one that keeps me up all night snuggling in for more “BAPS!”

My 9-5 work is off the scale busy and at this moment I feel a little breathless with exactly how many balls I am juggling with that. I feel a bit exasperated that I can’t do justice to everything required of me. But I love the work, I love my colleagues, I just wish it didn’t eat into my brain as I try to sleep.

I got through to the finals of the MAD blog awards in TWO categories, Craft and Thrift- thank you SO, SO, SO much for voting for me. I am gobsmackedly chuffed but also, well, a little embarrassed to see Lulastic up against so many incredible, behemothic blogs. Even though I know, I just know, I would be a bit upset not to have gotten through. When you love to blog and pour your heart in, I guess that kind of comes with some high hopes for it.  How weird is that: how weird am I.

As I type my Nana, Betty Tribble, is living her last few days, losing consciousness. She has been slowly wilting over years, this most wonderful, WONDERFUL specimen of womankind. Love bursting, laughter sparkling, snack pushing Nana – “Stick these biscuits in your pocket as you go love, you’re WASTING AWAY I tell you!”- full of wit and all the patience and grace in the world.

*heaving sob*

*pulls self together*

And then this back drop of Below the Line fuelled stomach- angst. We are getting through okay. We are not starving. We are just missing food. We have realised just how much we use food to celebrate and to commiserate. When anything even slightly brilliant happens we say “COR, that’s gotta be worth some cake, eh?!” or if we are tired and feeling sorry for ourselves we bury our faces into a splendid Thai takeaway. This week food has just been about filling a gaping hole in our tummies and nothing more. How we miss it.

Hopefully next week will be back to normal and I can spend my days crafting away and wandering whimsically amongst charity shop shelves packed high with jumble.

See you on the other side…

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15 Responses to When life lives you rather than you living life

  1. nicolahulks says:

    Sorry to hear about your lovely Nana. My Nan passed away last year and is so missed. I’ve got a black and white pic of her from the 40s looking absolutely brilliant on my mantle piece and every time I look at it it gives me a boost to get through those ‘clinging to the sails’ days and do life well for her.

    Really enjoying the blog. I’m sure you’ll be back to the jumble sales before you know it!

    • lulastic says:

      Thank you Nicola :)
      Your blog is fab, I’ve enjoyed reading these past few days but have failed to comment, please forgive me!
      Thank you so SO much for sponsoring our Below the Line efforts :-)

  2. Well, if I win nothing else from the MAD awards, I do get to be introduced to lots of fab blogs!!

    It is strange how life comes at you all at once – the good and the bad all jumbled up in the space of a few days…I hope you will get some time to breathe soon.

  3. Hi Lucy
    I discovered your great down to earth blog today via the MAD awards page and am so pleased I did. I have loved reading about your thrifting and making and your gorgeous homely home, oh and seeing your sweet Ramona. Our daughter is 11 and I feel so nostalgic for those sweet cheek toddler days already!
    I do hope she is soon on the mend and that you manage to stay adrift for the next few days of your challenge. I have deep admiration for your resilience with keep to such a low food budget.
    Thinking of you and your Nana too, the women in our lives are incredibly important and need to be celebrated always xox Penelope

  4. Sian says:

    funny how happy, sad and just downright strange all seem to happen at the same time – my gran is there still but also not if you know what I mean, so…..sending you best wishes : ) good luck in the awards!

  5. It is so tiring when everything comes at you from all angles so I try to take a little inspiration from all the people I meet along the way. My boss has leukemia and is one of the most amazing people I know. When something goes wrong she always says “what’s the worst that can happen” (but not in a condescending manner). I always let myself have a damn good mope and then remember how amazing I have it really and just get on with it.

    Nanna’s are the best, I have one departed and one who’s mentally on her way out but I love them both so much and always will. They are amazing women and I feel for you hun.

    Keep on inspiring…………..

  6. Emma says:

    Fabulous blog- love it although I’m probably your polar opposite in many ways. Will definitely pop back again and well done on your nomination!

  7. whataniceblog says:

    I’ve just followed a link through from your email and feel like I’ve stumbled on a whole new universe. I’m very inspired. I found losing my grandma had an impact on my life I didn’t anticipate, and was very hard. Nanna Betty must be mega proud though. What do we want more in life than to see those we love grow into inspirational, warm and world-enhancing people? Thanks for sharing your gem of a blog.

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