Boobs are brilliant, but not news

19 September, 2012

Honestly, I LOVE breasts.

Did you know, when you are breastfeeding, MILK comes out of them?

OMG. That is like some kind of magic.

And then, as if that is not like Mind= Blown enough for you, this other incredible thing happens whereby, if your little one gets a bit crook they communicate this to your boobs and then the milk adapts to produce the right kind of antibodies to fix your sick babe right up.

Come on. You couldn’t MAKE it up.

It’s funny, I have spent most of my life not liking my boobs, they were too big to wear vests without looking skanky, too bouncy to dance and deflected too much from my brain. I spent most of my teenage years thinking I was a bimbo because of my big ‘uns and only when my sister took me aside one day, after I had successfully navigated a team of older teens around the complicated underground of the Czech Republic and said, “Lucy, you know you are not thick, don’t you?”, did I stop allowing my boobs and blondeness to define me.

It is tough being a teenage girl and have a sense of being so much more than your image. Let alone when you are surrounded by the objectification of women in songs, television and films. Let alone being faced with it EVERYDAY in Britain’s most popular newspaper. I remember being on the bus and seeing men “reading” Page 3. I recall jumping on a train trying to ignore the paper tossed on a seat,  folded open on Page 3,  while men passed it with a quick ogle.

You know, I would constantly fold my arms over my breasts  in a subconscious attempt to disguise myself and disassociate myself from such sexualised bodies. (And you are going to think I am distinctly mad now) for I while I used to even TAPE THEM DOWN when clubbing, such a hateful relationship I had with these carnal buoys.

And now, here I am, age 30 and a mother and I love my boobs. I love that they provide food and comfort for my toddler. Having a never ending supply of nutrition on tap is one of the most liberating aspects of mothering. I will skinny dip in secret rivers and nurse on the bus and shower in the changing rooms of the pool completely in the nick.  They aren’t so buoyant, having been tugged and stretched and knelt on by a boisterous toddler. But they are a miracle.

Great as they are, miraculous even, they are not news. I could talk about them all day, press releases sent forth about their healing properties. But bare boobs with the sole purpose of titillating have no public place, least of all in a newspaper. To be gawked at in busy spaces, securing in the minds of menfolk that boobs are for the pleasure of their eyeballs.

For the sake of our teenage girls AND boys, we need to get them out of The Sun. Of course, it is the tip of an iceberg but as all tips are, it is hugely visible and hard to ignore and SURMOUNTABLE. (Are icebergs surmountable?) We can VIABLY CARVE THIS TIP RIGHT OFF. In the last week the No More Page 3 campaign has gathered momentum and signatories are piling up by the second.

Let’s do it.

I have signed the petition. Tweeted the heck out of it. Even got on the old Facebook and shared it. But I wanted to do something just a little bit more bespoke and felt a Craftivist style action would be perfect.

So during Ramona’s nap yesterday I stitched a little banner. 

Then when she woke up we cycled to News International, HQ of The Sun, 3 St Thomas More Square, and left them a little message. Hastily attached with my guilty hands.

It was a bit scary. Full of suits and security guards and we stood out like a sore thumb, Ramona pulling along her little toy dog, making an insanely conspicuous scraping noise that reverberated off the stark buildings. (Oh, cringing in memory. She just kept insisting on dragging it. I’m like “Oh, does doggy need a carry?” “Nooooo mummy.”)  And there was not a single spot to hang it in the square. So the old gate by the entrance way had to do.

So. Boobs. In the paper. What do you reckon? Have you signed, Tweeted and Facebooked? Would love to hear of any other creative actions going down…

You Might Also Like

  • M.K. Hajdin (Exiled Star) 19 September, 2012 at 8:54 am

    Awesome bit of activism there. Very creative!

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      Thank you 😀 Very inspired by the Craftivist Collective

  • Sally Wood 19 September, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Absolutely fantastic – so well done. What a lovely antidote to the tawdriness of the Sun’s mentality. I hope it inspires more actions like it .. how wonderful that would be!

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:05 pm

      Oh, tawdry alright. Here’s hoping over craftys get involved…

      • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:06 pm

        OTHER obviously 🙂

  • Jenny 19 September, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Brilliant!! I am going to sign that petition right now! Also – I totally didn’t know that about the antibody on demand making magical breasts. AMAZING!

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      I know! Total magic, eh? Go, go and sign and share, we can DO IT

  • jojot 19 September, 2012 at 10:29 am

    I’m so glad I said that out loud to you. I’m even gladder you believed me.
    Hurrah for boobs! Different sizes, different places, plump ones, saggy ones and everything imbetween.
    Though definitely not news.

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:06 pm


  • Ems 19 September, 2012 at 10:30 am

    You’ve described perfectly my teenage years. Charming, brilliant blog. Love your creative demo. Maybe we should organise a tea party & needlepoint demo outside SunHQ.

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:07 pm

      It is very conducive to a peaceful, quiet tea party and stich in! Almost silent. (Apart from Ramona and her dog!) I would be SO THERE! Let’s get planning…

  • Patch 19 September, 2012 at 10:59 am

    So much of your post is familiar to me. I hated my boobs for so much of my life too. They are truely amazing… Mine compensated for the fact we could only use one side, making that boob produce more and richer milk for my babes and without me looking lopsided. I’m definitely off to sign the petition now 🙂

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      Ah, so good you have an affinity with this… though people might just think my hate/love relationship with them just odd…

  • katie (@ktmoo) 19 September, 2012 at 11:44 am

    Excellently written. I totally agree that ‘bare boobs with the sole purpose of titillating have no public place’, so I’ve signed the petition. And well done on the craftivism, very inspiring!

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      How is titillating even a word, eh?

  • lally Young 19 September, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    You go gurl!!!! I wish they would bring riot gurls back!!! Or are we the modern day version of them!!!! I sadly suffer from big bristols as my mother likes to call them. But I am now 37 and I couldnt give a hoot!!! I think they give your body shape. Lets face it some men are just pervs any way!!!! I am amaized they can even think about sex every 10 seconds! The sun is just a chavvy rag anyway and I for one dont read it. We call the sun the Beano at home. Infact I dont read the paper as it is a good waste of a tree!!!!!

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:09 pm

      HOORAY FOR BIG BRISTOLS!! It is a rag, but a very widely read one so this must be stopped!

  • Link Love « Is That You Darling 19 September, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    […] Luluastic weighed in on the No More Page 3 debate in a way that only a crafty blogger can. She stitched a banner and hung it on the gate at News International HQ. […]

  • dillytante 19 September, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    Love your craftivism, v brave & beautiful too. Well done. Great roll model for your daughter too.

    • dillytante 19 September, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      I’m mean role model obviously (how embarrassing!)

      • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:10 pm

        Hehehe, I just did a very similar mistake in the comment up there *Shame*

    • lulastic 19 September, 2012 at 7:09 pm

      Thank you- your own crossstitch would be about ONE MILLION TIMES more beautiful though- oh, you really should do one!

  • Sarah 20 September, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Brilliant, just brilliant! Thank you so much for going above and beyond for the campaign, Lucy. x

    • lulastic 21 September, 2012 at 1:43 pm


  • KatGotTheCream (@KatGotTheCream) 20 September, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    Well done you, you are very inspirational!

    • lulastic 21 September, 2012 at 1:43 pm

      Hehe thanks 🙂

  • Favourite posts this week - Bake 'n' Shake 21 September, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    […] Boobs are indeed brilliant. What an awesome […]

  • Liz @Babywearsprada 21 September, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    I LOVE this!!! I will ask my delightful friends at the Sunday Times if it’s still there on Monday! Go girl! X

    • lulastic 4 October, 2012 at 6:36 pm

      Was it? x x

  • RooPaprika 21 September, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    An inspired bit of craftivism. I love boobs, they are ace and they should be celebrated, they should be news. Just not that kind of news…

    • lulastic 4 October, 2012 at 6:37 pm

      Exactly, exactly! x x

  • wearewildthings 21 September, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Love. And love that you had Ramona and her noisy dog with you when you did it. It won’t be long before you can get her sewing them with you. If you fancy starting the toddler/pre-schooler section of the craftivist collection Kit can sew (sort of – not sure if the words would be quite so clear!).

    (P.S. We’ve moved from blogger to wordpress, and aren’t really on twitter at the moment, long story)

    • lulastic 4 October, 2012 at 6:38 pm

      FABULOUS idea! Kit can teach her everything!! xxx

  • Boobs are Brilliant. But they’re not news. | Tots 100 5 October, 2012 at 7:37 am

    […] [Shared by Lulastic] […]

  • Umm Yahya 30 November, 2012 at 11:03 am

    Absolutely brilliant!

  • khatsii 29 August, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Seriously loved this post! AND YES TO NO MORE PG 3 NEWS!