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writing

Last chance saloon: these times are CALLING us to understand who we are and how we belong

4 August, 2020

These times are CALLING us to understand who we are and how we belong. When I say “spirituality” this is what I’m talking about: our connectedness to the big picture. So many folks have been cut off from this either through unhealthy religious institutions or modern beliefs that matters of the heart are irrational and unimportant.

But this urge to be connected is so strong that people tend to either a) normalise feeling rudderless or b) steal from the few cultures that have been able to keep their deep spiritual practices alive.

It doesn’t have to be like this, my friends.

Imagine having a daily inner practice that provides solace in chaos?
Imagine having tools just for you that bring you into the present moment?
Imagine being able to articulate your beliefs so you can find others you resonate with?
Imagine having rituals that allow you to celebrate and commiserate without appropriating?

Through my course Dwell I’ve supported women to tune into the sacred seam running through each day, to develop practices that have bought them peace and to find the confidence in their spiritual path.

The course was like a breath of fresh air for me- crammed full of interesting ideas, knowledge and wisdom about spirituality and life in general. The guided visualisations were deep and grounding. And Lucy makes a BIG topic fun, accessible and practical. I’m left feeling more tuned in and awake to the beauty and aliveness that surrounds me everyday and more committed to my own spiritual journey.” Charlotte – DWELL participant

It really is the last chance saloon for Dwell – an online course launching this weekend but available when you need it (say you are away for August or something) and it’s the last one for a whole year. Send me a message for payment plans or if you have any questions. Head here for all the info and to register. 

Time to Disco…

And while I am here…. DISCO also closes this week, the final DISCO for 2020. Almost 200 people have participated in this unschooling course since I launched earlier this year.

  • This is for you if you feel an urge to unschool but feel nervous about leaping in.
  • This is for the parent that knows there is a an education available that will bring out the very best in their child and wants to embark on that journey feeling fully equipped.
  • This for you if you’ve been unschooling a while but need re-invigorating, more support and more passion.
  • This is for you if you are finding it hard to let go of fears and really trust your children
  • This is for you if you want to accelerate your own deschooling and deconditioning around education.
  • This is for you if you want the time and space to face your fears and befriend them!

    Find out all about Disco right here.

So much love to you, dear readers. I hope to see you online soon either through Dwell or Disco! x

 

writing

You really don’t want to miss this, honest to goodness!

10 June, 2020

Readers, this is about as influencery as I get! But, what can i say, I BELIEVE in this stuff!

Once a year or so I join with a bunch of other authors to bundle our books up and offer little libraries around certain topics. I love being part of these bundles because they are a HUGE win win. As readers you get access to a whole bunch of great resources for a vast, vast discount and us authors get to put our work in front of other people. Writing as a job can feel a bit  of a grind, (the writing bit is awesome but the selling books bit not so!) so I am so grateful for this opportunity.

HENCE! This week is like “the week of the library bundles!” These offers are only available until FRIDAY! Yikeserooney. Once you download these you have access to them either through your phone, computer or ipad til the End of Days.

Self Care Mini Bundle
My own book “Soulful cycle: a creative menstrual cycle journal” is in this bundle. There are loads and loads of brilliant things in here from mindfulness to resilience to anxiety resources. The years worth of affirmations are brill and I use them everyday (I am a massive manta fan! It’s true!) There’s an ecourse in the neuroscience of accessing your dream life (I am living for the gold nuggets in here) and also lots on taking self care beyond the bath tub, creating a life that aligns with your values.
(Please forgive the weight loss stuff, I would not include those if I was the boss here.)
It’s all available for a tiny fraction of the price of the whole lot. Have a look at the bundle here.

Work from Home Bundle
Jeez louise, pals, this resource is EPIC.  I get asked alot about how I make my work work. Honestly? It’s been a six year long learning curve. Only last year did I begin to really embrace my worth, and put into place good business practice that mean things are sustainable now.
This Work From Home Mini Bundle has *so* many things that would have accelerated my path hugely. From how to gain confidence in front of the camera, to time management, to building confidence as a writer, to strategies for creating an authentic online presence to actually finding jobs that you can do from home. (Gamechanging for unschool parents.) Highly highly recommend if you are either thinking about transitioning to working from home or some way along your solo entrepreneur path and need a boost.  Take a look here.

Ultimate Healthy Living Bundle
This is probably my favourite of all the bundles because it’s so far reaching. It has stacks of inspiring recipe books from good wholesome food to natural beauty recipes. There’s tonnes of books and ecourses that just totally demystify topics that can be incredibly complicated. But most of all, the resources that are my faves are the homesteading, sustainability guides – from keeping chickens, to fermenting, to starting gardens to raising seeds. I got my Healthy Living bundle three years go and still refer to it today.
Check it out here.

So, yeah, if you are not in the mood for all this, I understand. I really, really do.

If, however, you are feeling like you want a little injection of inspo or motivation these bundles have your name ALL OVER THEM.

Lots and lots of love,

Lucy x

writing

The School Wound

11 May, 2020

This is dedicated to Mrs Bromley, the teacher at my high school who always did her very best for her students and kept her faith in me despite the odds. And to all the beautiful, loving teachers like Mrs Bromley.

Some of us get sweaty palms and short of breath when that musty smell of the school corridor hits our nostrils. Some of us become a quivering mess when talking with our child’s Head Teacher, despite our high powered jobs. Others of us are just quietly dealing with a low level sense of failure or need to keep busy, lest we get caught out resting.

Meet your School Wound.

My first day at school

How does the School Wound show up?

A few of these might be true for you. Or a whole bunch:

You feel guilty when you rest or play

You fill your days with busy-ness, shying away from intentional pleasure

You feel pissed off when it seems someone is trying to tell you what to do

You find it hard to hear criticism, it feels overwhelmingly frightening

You are hungry for praise

You are hungry for praise AND ashamed that you are so needy so never celebrate your wins or strengths

You accept things people say against your better judgement – people’s opinion of you, their bad ideas – you say “yes” to them all

You are scared of rejection, you assume new people won’t like you, it’s hard for you to put yourself out there to make friends

You are locked out of your own creativity

You have big ideas but never say them out loud or action them

You want something different for your life but are terrified to step out of the norm

You are constantly trying to squeeze yourself into someone else’s idea of who you should be or how you should spend your time

You are haunted by a sense of underachieving

You find it hard to establish and assert boundaries

You have a general sense that you aren’t good enough

Hey. Everybody. It is not natural to feel this way.

It is normal, in that many of us feel these things, but are they normal human feelings?

Are we born with them? We are not.

These feelings are the School Wound at work.

The School Wound is the pain of being raised in an institution that did not have your best interests at heart. It’s the shame from specific incidences that happened at the hand of the teachers or students who were cogs in a toxic system. It’s the oppression of your character and choices because of the long term and systematic messaging from your school days – an oppression that you are still living under today.

The feelings above are easily, directly linked to the many years you spent in a system that was never intended to bring the best out of individuals, but one that was only ever designed to create more effective workers for the industrial age.

Let’s take a look:

You feel guilty when you rest or play because you spent eleven to twenty of your formative years “working” – doing stuff you weren’t really interested in but were told was useful.

You fill your days with busy-ness, shying away from intentional pleasure because every minute of your day was scheduled apart from a half hour lunchbreak and there was a general sense that you couldn’t be trusted to use your time well.

You feel pissed off when it seems someone is trying to tell you what to do because it triggers in you the feeling of your worst teachers telling you what to do with your body and mind and punishing you when you didn’t do it.

You find it hard to hear criticism, it feels overwhelmingly frightening because in our school days we were never simply told how to change something for the better: making a mistake almost always came with punishment.

You are hungry for praise because you were raised with it as a currency, you only knew your work was good if it got good marks.

You are hungry for praise AND ashamed that you are so needy so never celebrate your wins or strengths because praise was just a part of the system and asking for what you needed or wanted wasn’t part of that system.

You accept things people say against your better judgement – people’s opinion of you, their bad ideas – you say “yes” to them all because it wasn’t an option to say no – it would have landed you in huge amounts of trouble.

You are scared of rejection, you assume new people won’t like you, it’s hard for you to put yourself out there to make friends because your idea of friendship was created in a wholly unnatural setting of people exactly your age freely interacting for only hyper-energised short stints of time in a pressure cooker of institutionalised competition.

You are locked out of your own creativity because you didn’t fit the particular artistic mode popular at that time in your school’s art department or because you were shamed specifically around creativity/ art (you are one of the 50% of the population who experienced art shame so severely that it impacted the rest of your life.)

You have big ideas but never say them out loud or action them because school wasn’t a place for big ideas, but for thoughts that fit exactly into the curriculum item being taught in that moment.

You have good questions but never ask them because at school there isn’t time for any questions or you didn’t want to be the annoying one asking questions all the time.

You can’t help comparing yourself with people all the time because the way the school system operates is through testing and ranking and how you succeed in school depends on how everyone else is doing.

You want something different for your life but are terrified to step out of the norm because to step out of the norm back at school would have led to you taking on a label with your peers and teachers, and possibly to social shaming or punishment.

You are constantly trying to squeeze yourself into someone else’s idea of who you should be or how you should spend your time because there were fixed ideas of who you could be at school, and you had to think carefully about your actions and how they would be interpreted socially.

You are haunted by a sense of underachieving because when you were young you were moulded to believe that “you are what you do” and you were trained to strive for good marks and high production rather than being able to simply be.

You find it hard to establish and assert boundaries because these are not seen as important within the school system, your say around what workload is manageable, or who you should spend time with, was constantly shut down.

You have a general sense that you aren’t good enough because impossible standards were placed on you when you were a child and you were asked to betray your wishes and interests and sometimes you refused to, giving you a label of naughty or bad that’s hard to shake, even though you are a grown up with responsibilities and a big heart.

~

Do you see how spending such a vast amount of our young years in an institution impacts who we are and what we believe about ourselves and the world?

As adults we spend so much time acting competitively and feeling rejected and being far too busy and remaining small like life is school even though none of these things reflect the real world.

Actually, flag that – perhaps some of these things DO reflect the real world. Because so many of us are carrying around a School Wound there can be shaming and punishment when people live different lives or choose joy or pleasure or refuse to be small and cooperative.

But they don’t reflect the part of the real world that we all love and aspire to, do they?

In our favourite parts of the real world we LOVE creativity and boldness and question-asking and risk-taking and diversity and new friendships and pleasure and rest!

It’s hard to access that way of being because we aren’t tending to our School Wounds.

Can I urge you to pay attention to your School Wound? To take some time looking at the pain and shame you are carrying?  If you don’t, I fear that you’ll just keep wandering around keeping whole parts of your magnificent self under wraps, feeling guilty and burdened.

And this School Wound will continue its intergenerational festering. Because not only are we bearing the weight of our own burden, but the weight of our parent’s wound and our grandparent’s wound.

Fear of rejection and unquestioning obedience and a sense we can’t be trusted have become embedded in the human psyche and seen as simply normalised human experience, rather than the result of an inherently toxic education system.

Why won’t we tend to our School Wounds?

Perhaps we don’t talk about shame from the education system because we need to believe that the adults around us were all trying their best, or because it’s such an intrinsic part of our experience that we fear illuminating the pain it caused would be like digging explosives under the walls of our own home.

One of the things that happens with negative experiences as children is that we internalise them, or rationalise them. We say the struggle had to be worth it because education is SO important, I just need to move on, not probe this pain.

And then it’s time for our kids to go to school and we’ve adjusted so well to life with our School Wound that despite perhaps a small niggle we send our kids in to much the same environment.

It’s scary to admit that we are carrying a personal and a collective School Wound because perhaps this’d lead to questioning one of the most fundamental institutions we have. This is terrifying as institutions have been giving us a sense of safety for centuries. (Somewhere along the line we forgot that the education system was a social experiment and really, really not above reproach.

The time is now

The time to address pain and shame is always as soon as possible. One of the ways we can do this is to tell our stories. Brené Brown says: “As a shame researcher, I know that the very best thing to do in the midst of a shame attack is totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out!” She also says “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”

For some of you the intensity of the bullying or shaming will be so much that you will want to talk to a pro. I highly recommend this if it’s something you can access. But talking helps, full stop.

Call a good friend and tell her about your School Wound, or write down all of your experiences of receiving this School Wound. Find a place you can receive empathy and be heard.

The time is now

The time is now.  Again. Everything has changed. Millions of people have been living life without ANY school. Millions of others have been living life with school but minus punishment and shame and testing.

We do not have to go back to the grand social experiment that requires competition and testing and forced learning. We don’t have to return to business as usual.

Please hear that. You do not have to go back. There are other ways.

We have a window right now to re-imagine what we want childhood to before our children.

You can refuse to keep passing down The School Wound.

I hear parents telling each other, school isn’t so bad. It’s better than it was in my day.

My friends. School was bad then, is it worse now or better? All I know is a survey of young people published earlier this year by Barnados, identified school as being their most cited cause of stress: “for 65% of 12 year olds stress at school .By the age of 16, stress at school was a worry for 83% of children.”

65% of 12 years olds are stressed because of school.

65%.

Of 12 year olds.

Because of what? Because we collectively refuse to tend our own School Wound. Because we can’t face what it might lead to. Because it’s too painful to consider what we might have been if we weren’t turned over to an institution at such a young age.

Perhaps because we are still clinging to this lie that school is fundamental to childhood, to success, to whatever.

Refuse to pass down the School Wound

You could home educate –  that’s what we choose to do and it’s, hands down,  one of the best decision’s we’ve ever made. And now we are in this world we see how people from all walks of life make it work. We have chosen to unschool because we see it as the primary way for my children to keep their true nature in tact.

*If you are considering continuing life without school and need more information, inspiration, hand holding and confidence come and find out more about my online course DISCO.


“It’s easy to find the definition of unschooling on the internet, but it’s not so easy putting it into practice. Lucy’s DISCO course explains how to unschool. She has practical tips and so much experience and she shares it without judgement.” Nicole. Cape Town”

But if you chose to continue within the school system:

  • Advocate hard for your children and their rights within school – don’t let your School Wound prevent you from getting involved when a teacher is acting badly or when the work is too much or when you child’s rights are quashed.
  • Advocate for all children within the system – join campaigns against testing, start campaigns against shame and punishment and homework. Find your allies in the teachers at your school – you can bet there will be some who yearn for a non-wounding education for your children.
  • If you have the means, support the many expressions of progressive education. There are lots of alternatives to mainstream school once you begin investigating.
  • And, give your children clear messages that counter the toxic messaging they might be receiving at school. Remind them through your words and deeds that they can be trusted, that they are good, worthy and loveable.

~

Finally, my message to you.

If you’ve read this far I’m assuming your School Wound is throbbing hard.

And I want to say to you that the school system that did this to you was wrong and toxic. An institution caused you this wound and it should never have happened. You did not deserve to be shamed or bullied. You did not deserve to have your wild spirit or your creativity or your contentedness shut down.

Reader, you are worthy as you are.

You have nothing to prove.

You were born good and you have limitless gifts to offer the world simply by being you.

You can be trusted to make good decisions.

Your urges for rest and play and pleasure and meaningful work are worthy and important.

Questioning and disobeying authority is sometimes necessary and doesn’t make your naughty, but responsible.

Setting boundaries and saying no is healthy and is your right and sometimes the ticket to even more compassion, better relationships and work.

You don’t have to fit in.

People want to love you if you will let them.

Parenting

Kids watching copious amounts of TV right now?

11 April, 2020

Just pulling myself away from Episode Three of Next in Fashion (it’s a goody!) to talk a bit about screen time during a pandemic! How much is too much? Too little?

One of my fave’s Glennon Doyle went live this week to reassure everyone that during a pandemic TV time is ALL OF THE TIME!

If that is how you and your peeps are surviving these time, it is ALL GOOD. The only thing I know right now is that we need to exercise more self kindness and self acceptance than we have EVER in our whole lives.

Our screen enjoyment has gone up by many hours and we are enjoying it so much. There’s a few things I had to do to be okay with it though as I do have big feelings about things like:

Adverts, gender stereotypes, lack of representation, and my feeling that if the kids watch TV all day one of them in particular won’t get her play needs met, and there is a danger for us to loose out on connection. Which is my only family goal right now, really.

In today’s video I get real frank about our tv consumption and discuss some super practical ways to minimise the negative impacts of screen time:

I’d love to hear from you in the comments on youtube, and if you found this helpful please do share it around with other people who are new to this pandemic home schooling stuff.

And, in case you too are running out of good stuff to lay your peepers on here’s some of our favourite Netflix shows – other than nature docos which I could watch all day:
Blown Away (glass blowing comp. It’s the actual best show ever.)
Next in Fashion
The Final Table
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Lots of love,

lucy x

Parenting

Homeschooling now? Welcome to the jungle!

25 March, 2020

A  few months ago my nine year old daughter sighed “Imagine if the whole world was homeschooled! I’d be able to play with all of my friends allllllll day!” Ramona hasn’t ever been to school and sometimes wishes that her school-going friends could come over straight after breakfast.  In a bizarre twist in a plot that feels like it’s been written by kids, now basically the entire world is homeschooling – but the kids can’t play! 

If you are new to life without school, welcome to the jungle.

Perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious at the prospect of being home with your kids for the next four weeks. Solidarity. Personally, I am shitting myself. The next four weeks are not gonna look anything like the circumstances that I opted into. We usually roll out of bed, watch a bit of Netflix and then get with our little homeschooling gang to hit up some sweet museum or beach while us parents banter and generally have a good time.

We hunt down social interactions for our wee extrovert Ramona in the way junkies seek out smack. If she doesn’t get her fix life is terrifying.

Now it’s just the four of us knocking around with the craft supplies I panic-bought from the Warehouse yesterday. And I’m terrified!

So I don’t come to you with a high and mighty sense of yes I’ve done this for nine years and what can I say I’m QUITE the expert, but rather a genuine sense of we’ll get through this together.

‘Cos we will. ‘Cos humans are awesome. 

So, here’s a few things to get you started. Some foundational stuff that means I actually enjoy homeschooling.

1- Not a teacher
Firstly, I don’t try and teach my kids. We go for a type of home education called unschooling or life learning. It’s an education paradigm based on the idea that the best learning is self-motivated, rooted in curiosity and joyfully done.  Over the years I’ve seen our children pick up traditional curriculum topics such as multiplication and writing all through simply living their lives. (Ramona is so passionate about maths that we actually have long multiplication graffiti on our bathroom wall.) We’ve also seen them pick up millions of other skills through being around people in our community. 

Now, I get that some of you are thinking WHAT THE HELL, those poor kids! And that is absolutely fine! Because you can still think I am a nutter AND make room for the truth that the idea of parents becoming teachers is the worst possible idea on the planet, but for a month or six it’s far better for your child to not have a teacher than for them to feel disconnected from or coerced by their parent.

And if ever you have a wobble and think “my kid’s haven’t done the sheets sent from school” you can always think of me and how the government has approved my home education plan!

Kids are learning all the time, whether they are doing worksheets or not. They are learning creativity as they watch you make face masks out of your old bras, self-care as you tend to your caffeine needs and picking up literacy skills seeing you reading a novel on the sofa.*
*probably

I think that in these stressful and overwhelming times, what kids need most are parents committed to connection. Listening to them, holding them, playing with them, processing feelings with them. Basically anything BUT making them do stuff they don’t want to do.

I checked in with some teachers about this and around twenty got back to me, all of them saying things along these lines don’t make your kids study if they don’t want to! Use this time to do stuff together so they remember quarantine as good family time.

2- Stuff you can do lying down
Now one of the the things about that – doing stuff together is that it is knackering. I try not to do too much of it. Ha. But seriously, I do try and keep it in balance, spending enough time playing with my kids so they feel connected and nurtured, but also planning lots of things that they can be self-sufficient in. 

One of the things homeschoolers have got down is activities where the parent lies down. My sister who is new to homeschooling due to Covid19 (shall we just go ahead and call it #virusschooling)  sent me a picture of a man lying in bed and his kids sitting right there sketching him and the caption “Set my kids the challenge of drawing me so i can take a nap.” My sis was all lol emojis about it and I was like, girl that is the oldest  trick in the book. The kids latch on by the third time and you’re going to need the following activities:

The kids paint your belly while you read a book.(What this is a thing!! It’s on Pinterest! Usually the person is pregnant but whatevs.)
You pay them 50 cents for a full body massage.
They have to guess what kind of sleeping animal you are. (It goes without saying that the more obscure the better- a golden snub-nosed monkey is gonna be my next one.)
This game we haven’t named yet where they have to creep up on you while you nap.
Netflix
 

3-Intentional Compromise

Despite what my mum and dad think, our children do not watch Netflix all day. Nope sireeee there is also Youtube Kids and Cartoon Network.

Jokes.

They probably do watch slightly more TV than they would in my dream homeschooling life. That’s because of something I call Intentional Compromise. My friend and I came up with that term (I think, hang on, let me just google, no yeah we did AREN’T WE GREAT!) to describe the idea that nothing is ever absolutely perfect, and often in our endeavour to believe that it can be, we end up making compromises in areas that we don’t want to. If you acknowledge that we don’t have to be perfect, the perfect parent or the perfect homeschooler or perfect anything, you can instead select where you are going to compromise for the greater good.

I highly value self care. It’s the only way I can homeschool. Every morning I like to have a cup of tea and journal and spend a bit of time nurturing my heart. But I also like a teeny weeny lie in. Instead of waking up at 6am to get my self-care in pre kids wake up, or forsaking my self-care time and snapping at my family members because I’m bitter, I let the kids switch on Netflix when they get up, intentionally compromising my perfect vision of us doing family yoga at 7:30 every morning.

You are not going to be a perfect home education parent during this time. So go right ahead and choose some areas where you are going to release the pressure. This way you can be good enough in the areas that are important. 


4- Do this together

Part of the unschooling educational paradigm is a deep trust of our children. We reckon that our kids are their own gurus. They know their brains, their hearts, their bodies best, so we try and give them as much autonomy as we can handle.

You might not be quite ready to see where you kids go with lots more freedom. But many of you will find the next few weeks and months much easier with your kids if they feel like they’ve had a big say.

One way we do this is in Family Circles. We have two types – one where it’s just a chance for everyone to share their feelings. It might be around a particular incident or it might be just a response to some family tension. We had one this week about Covid19 and Ramona finished it with saying “PPPHEWF that felt good to get that off my chest!” I was surprised as I thought we had a fairly open communication anyway! 


And then there’s the planning kind. Yesterday our Family Circle was the opportunity for our kids to shape the next few weeks. We sketched out a gentle rhythm for each day and all put down our suggestions for things we want to do. The kids suggested loads of things that I never would have dreamt of – if you need us in the coming weeks we’ll be foraging mushrooms.

It’s going to be super important for our kids to have things to look forward to and they will really appreciate our attempts to include them in decision making and planning.

5-  Don’t be afraid of the Internet

There are so many educational programmes on Netflix (you can set up a profile especially for that) and Youtube Kids- you can also select channels that you feel okay for your kids to have free access to.  There are tons of kid friendly podcast to listen to. 

And, in honour of the Coronavirus people are putting out even more resources. Ben Fogles is entertaining kids with adventure stories on Instagram, The Little Oak Learning is running morning circles, there are dance parties and live yoga and so many weird and wonderful resources to tap into. The one I actually skipped about the room about was that Audible have made all their kids books available for free. Don’t tell anyone but this was the one single thing that made me feel like I was going to make it out the other end of this lock down without us turning into the Addams Family. (Pre-Audible announcement I was on a fasttrack to Uncle Fester.)

~

We are going to make it through. Not just as shells of our former selves, but even better versions of ourselves. There’s a very strong chance we will be more grounded, more connected, more resilient. And we get to do this with our kids. So many of them are going to thrive in this time. They are going to learn stuff they can’t at school, they are going to feel closer to you, less stressed, less social pressure and they’ll get to experience a four week long pyjama party with their fam!

~

These are really only the very start of ideas I want to share with you. There are so many little hacks that I think people will find super helpful. So I set up a new video series that’s gonna be jam packed with this stuff!  For more inspiration and support take a look at my Covid19 inspired Youtube Channel: Life Without School.

PS My online parenting course ALLY is kicking off in a couple of weeks. If you want to supercharge your empathy and worldchanging parenting take a look at the curriculum right here. 

 

Activism, Parenting

*new online parenting course* ALLY

2 March, 2020

The kids are forty minutes into a heated discussion about where they will live once they have their own families, all of us here in the big yurt together? Or Juno and her kids in the little yurt, which feels unfair to her, frankly? So I’m just taking the opportunity to zip in here with a rollicking big announcement! I am suuuuper excited to let you know that registrations  have opened for my new online course ALLY – be the guide, advocate and friend your child needs. It feels like the culmination of eight years of my work in this area. It’ll be the fourth course I’ve facilitated over this last year and I can say with confidence that these are deeply powerful, transformative experiences. Details below and you can register here.

The future of a fair and equal society lies in adults using their power to come alongside children in a supportive role.

Learn more about the principles of this kind of parenting and how to apply them to your life in a practical way. Discover how a fresh perspective and response to everything from tantrums to mealtimes can super-charge the connection and cooperation between you and your child, bringing you more joy and a sense of purpose into your home.

This radical course sits at the intersection of parenting and child rights. It is a holistic experience, where you are invited to bring the whole of you to this learning. We come to new understandings via teaching, reflection, meditation and discussion.

Ally involves weekly 1.5 hour interactive Zoom workshops, downloadable worksheets and an energetic pop-up community on Facebook.

Loving this course! The discovery and learning each week, the sharing, the 2 hours to myself each Monday. This is absolutely self care in my mind. I’m really enjoying taking the time to delve into something I believe so wholeheartedly in and being led by hand so to speak. (Can’t thank you enough Lucy.) 
Course Participant February 2020

The online course was so much more than I thought it would be! I love the fact it’s focused on us as parents, in a kind of healing way…
Course Participant February 2020
 I have to say I am already SO happy I decided to take this course. My mind and heart have been blown to bits. 
Course Participant February 2020

Module One –  Ally
A just and beautiful world begins in the home
SUNDAY 19:30 (NZST) 5th April
(This is 8:30am UK time)In our first session together we consider a radical new starting point for parents.Once we establish this new perspective we are better able to see how our parenting can impact the future of the world, the nurturing of a just and beautiful society. We take a look at some of the evidence for the idea that a peaceful world begins in the home.

In the second half of this module we begin to unpack why as a species we haven’t made the connection between empathetic parenting and social justice, despite all the evidence.

We begin to do the important, empowering work of unpacking our inherited beliefs that prevent us from truly living the way we want to with our children.

Module Two – Guide
Treating our children as though they are visitors from another world
SUNDAY 19:30 (NZST) 12th April

When we redfine the role of parenting we are freed up to consider what it is we really should be doing! In this session we take a look at how we navigate societal norms and holding boundaries with empathy, whilst making room for our children to bloom into who they really are. We work through each developmental stage and their associated needs and rights. We consider how we can practically honour these needs and rights practical, taking a look at common negotiations from mealtimes to clothing and visiting places other than our own homes.

Module Three – Advocate
How can we stand up for our children?
SUNDAY 19:30 (NZST) 19th April

Once we accept the invitation to be allies to our children, we accept that part of that may well be standing up for them. How does this look, both with close family members and society?
In this session we discover how to live in alignment, living authentically and courageously with the parenting decisions and lifestyle we have chosen.

We look at conflict as a doorway to connection, both in terms of our advocacy and in our general parenting life. How do we keep connection alive through struggles and tricky times with our children?

Module Four – Friend 
Are we afraid of a level playing field?
SUNDAY 19:30 (NZST) 26th April

So often parents will exclaim (at least on Facebook!) “I am their PARENT not their friend!” Friendship is technically simply about having mutual affection for one another, but of course, compared to the parent-child dyad, it is a very non-hierarchial relationship. This sense of power-sharing can be terrifying.  In our last session we consider how parents can very practically share their power with their children. We consider the needs and rights we ourselves are trying to have met, making room for inner child healing.

In this session you will understand how this kind of parenting doesn’t have to be depleting, and be given tools to ensure this is a sustainable and mutually fulfilling path.

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You can register right here.

Would LOVE to see you in the room!