This is our second nappy free baby – here is an update of elimination communication at three months old!
I was trying to nurse Juno in bed, it felt a little bit too early to wake fully so I was hoping to keep her asleep. She was having none of it, popping on and off, shouting, wriggling her body. “Ohhh, I know” – even after 3 months of doing this with her it can still take me a few moments to respond. I sat up, grabbed the potty and held her over it. There was an instant explosion and she released a whole night of breastmilk. Her tiny (okay, enormously plump) body immediately lost all its tension, she breathed a content sigh and we snuggled back down.
We have reached that blissful period of an Elimination Communication journey, the stage where you can’t believe more parents don’t do this! Juno has a bit more of a rhythm to her life, is sleeping a lot less (so doing less dream wees) and it feels like we are incredibly in sync, catching 75% of wees and poos. We found this with Ramona too – between the ages of 3 and 6 months we were considering just putting her in pants, as if she was almost potty trained.
At this stage babies are communicating perfectly; fussing at the breast, grunting, crying out. They are as yet not distracted by the need to try and crawl/ walk/ run/ jump/ play. And they are still very much in arms, so the parents are able to pick up on the more subtle cues (like farts!)
Doing nappyfree a second time round, I guess like almost all the aspects of parenting, is SO much easier. Primarily because I think I am a lot less bound up in it emotionally. With Ramona I felt quite engaged with how well we were doing – if we had a really in sync day I felt awesome, but felt equally bad if we had loads of misses. This time round I feel tons more relaxed about it, not judging myself or our days on how “successful” our EC has been. My expectations are probably more accurate too. Some days EC won’t have ANY effect on how much laundry you have to do. EC is not a linear thing- it doesn’t get increasingly better until they are independent. It just goes up and down month by month and then, Oh! You realise you don’t miss anymore. And then, you say it outloud and they have a great big accident in front of everyone. It’s the way. 
So, I know this stage won’t last. Once Juno gets crawling she’ll have too much on her mind to communicate every little wee she has to do. But for the mean time I am reminded, without a shadow of a doubt, that babies are born ready. That they are able, from the youngest age to communicate with you about their EVERY need, even their elimination ones.
Nice one, babies! *high fives Juno*
Read more about Elimination Communication right here:
PS Read all my post on elimination communication:
Beginning Elimination Communication
Ten signs your baby needs to go to the toilet
Elimination Communication with a newborn baby
Elimination communication at three months old
Elimination Communication at one – the highs and lows
Elimination communication at one – (a poo in a shoe!)
Elimination Communication at 17 months old plus seven elimination communication tips
Elimination Communication is stress free potty training!
PIN FOR LATER:
Just out of curiosity – does Juno wear a nappy between potty times? Also, how do you cope when you’re out and about? Do you take a portable potty, or just do EC whilst at home?
It depends where we are really. When at parents she is nearly always in a cloth nappy, but usually one without the waterproof wrap so we can respond as soon as she has done something. Although we spend as much time as possible outside, in the garden and parks so that she can be nakey bummed. At our own home we just used to lie her naked on towels really.
It also depends how “safe” she is, if she has just wee’d there is a guaranteed twenty minutes without anything.
There is no problem being in a nappy inbetween at all it’s just I fond myself being much lazier and less likely to respond to her signals.
But to be honest you just get quite used to the harmless nature of the odd baby wee on your lap!
Out and about- less likely to wee in sling so much easier to get into rhythm of giving her a chance to go after coming out of the sling. I take a Tupperware or the inside of the Baby Bjorn chair (above) or just hang her by a tree. Much less nasty than dog wee!
Yay for Juno!
We use cloth nappies and EC with my 6 month old, Ada. I’ve noticed we’ve hit a bit of a plateau now she’s started eating food. Only one poo a day, but hard to know when! Her previous signals of pulling off the breast when feeding are now because she wants to check out what her brother is doing!!
Yep, six months is when it starts getting crazy again! Hahaha. Although I remember solid poos being a lot easier to tip out the potty 🙂
This is pretty awesome. I didn’t think it was possible so it’s opened up my eyes to the idea. I’m currently pregnant with number 2 (who will be breastfed) so I might try this myself. I guess if you start them young, it will become routine and potty training will be that much easier. My son Dexter is big night pee’er though – this would be a disaster for him!
Yep, I think it is basically the most gentle potty training ever. Just keeping them aware of their elimination from Day One.
This is really great! Well done! I just want to let you know that I found your blog while I was pregnant and can safely say you were the first step towards me planning a home birth, using a sling constantly and……doing EC. My little boy is 3 months too and we are definitely part-time but have caught lots of poos and some wees so I feel excited to continue. My family and friends definitely think I’m bonkers but I am so glad I discovered these things before I had my son. I’m so thankful to you and your blog – just want you to know how you are actually changing people’s lives. Ok, cheesy rant concluded 🙂
Oh wow, incredible! So cool to hear you’ve embraced the hippy side! Especially pleased about the slinging bit as strangely I reckon that is one of the most important parenting things in the first year. Keeping them close to your heart. Love to you and your tiny. x
I’m jealous! Zeke is almost 3 months and not keen on the potty. He does fuss when he’s about to pee but then won’t go when I take the dipe off! Nappy back on and he pees, then fusses again. Even with more experience, this guy is more difficult than my first.
I totally take awhile to realize why he’s squirming at the breast too. I’ll keep trying to latch him and wondering what’s up, then… “OH!” You’d think I’d remember by now. My first used to do the same, especially when nursing in bed.
Have you tried lots of different ways/ places? Juno’s fave is over the sink so she can smile at herself!
I just can’t imagine doing EC but find it so interesting to read about. Especially as Iyla is nearly three and still completely attached to nappies. I am still waiting for the day when she tells me she doesn’t want to wear them anymore and I wonder how different it would have been had I used EC! x
The day will come, it will 🙂
We were totally miss-free at about 20 months, but one or two friends who did conventional training earlier. Every child is so different.
Brilliant! Such an inspiring read – and love the comments. More parents will do this and you are the reason why! X
Hehe. I’m sure it’s on the up – Kate Mid will be doing it with Prince George next, ha!
Wow! This is amazing! I’ve never heard of EC before. Im currently pregnant with numero 2 and would love to read more about this.
I really recommend the Nappy Free book- incredibly comprehensive for starting out! Good luck and do ask any q’s!
Hi Lucy,
Not sure if you remember us but my husband Dave and I stayed with you guys a couple of times in London. We are good friends with nomes Dixon. Anyway….I am loving your blogs. We have also fully embraced the ec thing. And as we are also onto child number two we have had many similar experiences to you, eg relaxing a bit and finding more of a groove with it. We are totally sold on it and are so so confused why our friends don’t give it a try. My second is now 10 months old and loves the potty. We catch most poos and a lot of wees. As we are using cloth naps it makes things much easier with washing etc.
I know nomes has been trying to hook us up since having kids as she said we hav similarities. I would love to catch up when you finally arrive to nz. Where abouts are you settling in nz? We live in Cambridge.
All the very best with your exciting adventure ahead.
Lots of love
Jess and Dave Maugham
Hey Jess,
yes of course, I think of you all often! I feel the same- I think if people were to try it for 3 days they’d fall in love with the EC idea.
We are thinking of heading to Thames area but not sure. Would absolutely love to spend some time with you and Dave and the kiddos when we arrive!
Do you read any NZ blogs? Am on the look out for some 🙂
Thames – that sounds cool. Cambridge is also cool (wink wink nudge nudge ;))
No sorry I don’t follow any blogs, I have only stumbled across yours recently. But I’m really enjoying yours so you never know I might get into this blog thing??
Cheers
Jess
Hello
Sorry about the random comment above – iPad issues. Trying to scroll up while typing to see what others have written and everything goes pear shaped.
Well, I’m impressed and a little jealous. I had ambitions from an early stage to do EC from the get go, but we just bond well and BFing didn’t work out too well either so it didn’t quite happen like that. However, we did cloth nappy and just before our DD turned 1 we decided to give it a real go and she’s been using the potty ever since. She’s really good at it and more often than not will wee and pretty much 100% of the time will poo on her potty/the toilet. However, she turns 18 months next month and we aren’t getting any further. I’m fact today she’s had her 1st poo accident in a long time.
She’s a good talker too, she says “pot pot”, “wee wee” and “poo poo” but will not do it when she needs to go and this seems to be a stumbling block.
When it came to poo’s we watched her for signs and then ran her to the toilet and made a big deal when she’d done it. We do the same with wee’s but have never been able to work out when she’s doing that. Her number 2s developed into regular times of the day when she’d go so I could 100% guarantee she’d go after breakfast and dinner, but now its not quite like that. She does definitely get upset before she needs to go and nursery have managed to get her to poo there now (a record for the nursery).
I just don’t know where to go from here. I was so hopeful we’d be nappy free through the day by 18 months,but I’ve tried training pants and even just trousers and she just wee’s. You’ve done incredibly well and I hope your are suitably smug you’re not having to either do the washing or pay for years of nappies. Well done!!
Ah, hey this is SO COMMON! Something happens at 18 months – I think partly we go “HEY! THey should be SO out of nappies compltely by now!” at the same time as they are thinking “HEY! I am my OWN person okay, I am BUSY and will decide on my own wee and poo fate, thanks very much!”
I understand that this is REALLY frustrating. But there is only one thing for it:
Relax, don’t worry, forget about your expectations. Be thankful you were able to communicate and be in sync for so long and realise that one day very soon (say in a year or so!) she won’t have any more accidents and then you’ll never ever have to think about it again!
Just keep modelling for her- using potty and toilet in front of her. Maybe get her a step so she can start climbing up to the loo by herself- maybe she wants to take independence to the next level!
Remember it isn’t about potty training but about all the beautiful communication you’ve been doing, so feel chuffed yourself!
(This doesn’t really help with the feelings of frustrations. Just know this is SO NORMAL!)
xxx
Loved reading up on this…and also mayorly jealous here!
I started putting my boys on the potty when they were a week or two old, and until 6 months they both did super great! But then at 6 months they just stopped! They started teething really bad and howled whenever I put them on it. I tried holding them above the sink, the toilet, outside, but nothing worked!
The oldest is 2 and 10 months now and sometimes goes, although he usually still howls. THe youngest is 18 months and it’s like he just forgot all about it…does’nt matter how long I keep him on there…what did I do wrong?
Is it because they don’t co-sleep or because I didn’t try hard enough? I must say although I kept trying until the oldest was 1, I very quickly gave up with the youngest when he stopped responding…
Also, even when they were doing it, it was not because I recognized a cue..they never ever cued anything! They just went when I put them on the potty, it was a reflex.
It’s like they don’t know it themselves..even when I try having them only in pants, they’ll happily walk around with dirty and wet pants, and deny anything happened…
Frustrating!