Browsing Tag

home

Parenting

The birth of Juno Atawhai – Part Two

17 April, 2014

This is the second instalment in the story of Juno’s birth – read the first here!

It was 8am in the morning, I had been experiencing contractions for almost twelve hours. My wonderful friend and midwife, Nikki, had arrived and we were all excited about the journey towards meeting our new baby.

Shortly after Ramona and Mum left, in response to me feeling a bit “Eeep, I can’t do this!” (mostly due to back pain) Tim and I hunkered down in the front room. We put on some classical (I don’t usually listen to classical but in late pregnancy had really been getting down to some Mozart) and I kind of snoozed. I just blissed on out.

A second midwife appeared and after this nap on the sofa – which possibly lasted about an hour but time goes a bit quantum during labour, eh?- I went into the kitchen to say hi, to sip at a cuppa and bounce on the ball. As we chatted I had a few surprise big surges and things shifted into another gear.

The birth pool was full and I was ready to jump in. I hadn’t gone in earlier as I had wanted to sort of save it up for when I really needed relief. When I finally tumbled my behemothic body into the pool it was with the ecstasy of an Oompa Loompa diving into a chocolate lake.

I was so happy. The hot water and buoyancy eased my back pain. The contractions were really hitting me up with their bad selves and they were so welcome. The baby was coming. I reached up, I felt her head. I would meet her soon.

I had one or two big, beautiful squeezing surges and then WOAH she hit the ejection button! My whole body was pushing in the most magnificent way! The contractions were quite far apart but they were extremely purposeful!

Tim was leaning on the edge of the pool and I leant my head on his arms in one of those breaks between contractions – those breaks that are sheer NOTHINGNESS. Your body empties, your mind empties. I caught his eyes and smiled “This is EXACTLY what birth is meant to be like, Tim!”

The midwives had laid out the tools of their trade and had the mirror in position.

And then….

With the next push I got a cramp in my leg. It was the most excruciating pain! How bizarre that something as rubbish as a cramp could outdo the feeling of a contraction?! I think there was something about being mentally able to deal labour pains. I was fully prepared. My whole body and mind was involved in meeting each wave, in anticipating and greeting and getting through it. And then this sneaky cramp jumped in and threw everything out of kilter.

That cramp heralded another stage in labour, it changed the course of Juno’s birth and after much analyzing I still don’t know why.

Since getting the push reflex my midwife had been monitoring me, just the occasional blood pressure and baby’s heart rate. After the cramp, she upped her monitoring and got quite anxious.

My temperature was up, my blood pressure was up and the baby’s heart rate was up. It was decided it would be better for me to get out of the pool, to get my temperature down, have a drink and to see how things progress.

Within moments the pushing reflex faded and the contractions continued to be quite far apart.

My vitals were all screaming, just as they had with Ramona’s birth. The homebirth that ended up in hospital.

Unbeknown to me the midwives were a bit worried, they called their supervisor and consulted her. This was a dedicated home birth team, committed to supporting safe home births but even so it was decided that if my temperature, pressure and baby’s heart rate didn’t decrease within half an hour I should get transferred to hospital. They were worried about an infection and a posterior position amongst other things. A back to back labour can imitate some of the stages of real labour without other parts of the system being qute ready. A sort of “false” transition and ejection reflex can happen, without the the passage being open.

I allowed my midwife to do the first vaginal examination of the labour. I was only at 4cm. (Which, in a way suggests something… and in another way says nothing at all.)

Was my body acting like it was all systems go, when it actually wasn’t, because of a back to back position? Nikki could only feel the part of the baby’s head that would suggest a posterior position. It would explain the extreme back pain. But, maybe I was only at 4cm because I was being examined? Maybe I had been more ready but closed up? Legendary midwife Ina May Gaskin does recall births where mothers have closed back from 9cm dilated due to fear. She also recalls a mother opening from 5cm to fully dilated in the course of 3 surges. The question I still wonder about today, is whether if I had just stayed in the pool and left my body alone, would this have happened to me?

Tim and I went up to the bedroom to have some time alone, to try and get contractions firming up again and to try and lower my temperature etc.

Of course, I was really out of the zone now and fighting a fug of disappointment. I downed water and twiddled nipples and marched and spoke to my baby.

Come on out! It is safe here for you.

Half an hour later, at about 12pm my midwife came in for a check and things were still in warning mode.

They called an ambulance.

Within moments I was buckled into the back, siren blazing, heading for the hospital. The ambulance people were trying to be kind but I was pretty mad. Just absolutely gutted that things had changed so dramatically within half an hour.

During the hospital transfer with Ramona’s birth I was stoic and still in the zone. This time I was just deflated.

We arrived at the hospital and got into a quiet room. They put me on a IV to hydrate me and after some discussion I let them put in a drip of antibiotics to ward off any possible infection, as my signs were indicating this was the case.

My midwife sat down with me and gave me a pep talk.

I was so close! The baby could be out in just an hour or two! I perked up – really?! Shall I go for a walk to try and make that happen?! She bought me back down to earth by suggesting a tiny bit of Syntocin (fake oxytocin) would help. Oh man, really? Not that crap again? On one hand I was grateful for the Syntocin I had during Ramona’s birth as after three days I was completely wrecked and I fully believe that things might have ended up on a surgeons table without it. On the other hand I knew all about Michel Odent’s work on naturally produced oxytocin, on how vital it is for mother, baby and world peace!!!

In the end I considered my baby’s head… She had been tucked in quite a tight spot for many hours now, I knew she was ready to make an appearance. I also felt that I didn’t have the emotional resource left to get out of my fug and get in the zone by myself.

I asked for the smallest dose of oxytocin and the assurance that despite being hooked up I could still have an active birth.

My community midwife had to leave now so I was introduced to the hospital midwife. Julia was quiet and respectful and was everything a midwife should be. We barely knew she was there.

I knelt down, my head on Tim’s lap. My hips wide open. The syntocin was kicking in. The surges were back and I was able to greet them. My bad mood ebbed away as the surges took all my concentration. I breathed them towards me and breathed them away again.

The room was dark, the midwife was the ideal part of the furniture, there were no interruptions. I could squat, rock, spiral and kneel. Again I was cocooned in the task of giving birth to a new soul.

Surges built, turning from squeezes to downward flexes. I could feel myself opening, opening, opening.

7 hours after I originally thought we were going to meet our baby, we were going to meet her!

She arrived sooner than I thought she would, just a few big pushy surges and here was her head! Oh! Her head only managed to get half out!!!

A few minutes passed with my vagina grasping my baby’s massive skull, awaiting the final surge. I was aware of all the sensation that involved, but I was mostly just filled with the excitement and anticipation of meeting my baby!

And one final surge…. Here she is! She slithers out, I clutch at her through my legs, sit back on my heels and welcome our new baby.

She squawks and immediately begins nuzzling in, her mouth opening and head pushing to find a nipple. Within 30 seconds she has latched herself on and is guzzling colostrum. She is 9lb 3 but hungry after her travels… Birth Story - Juno

We leave the cord for a few minutes and then it is cut. I was considering a lotus birth but due to the syntocin the hospital is worried about haemorrhaging. I get an extra shot to get the placenta out quickly for the same reason.

I am gazing at my baby in too much awe to feel any disappointment about not having a lotus birth, or even eating the placenta as I had considered- slightly to my husband’s disgust!

It is 7:30 pm and we call my mum and 20 minutes later Ramona tiptoes into the room, climbs on my lap and meets her new sister, Juno Atawhai.

Hello Juno!birth story

There is just one more little instalment to come… Hospital: The Great Escape and also some of the feelings and left over emotions I have about this second birth.

Parenting

The Birth of Juno Atawhai

14 April, 2014

This time last year it was my blessingway. What a beautiful day it was. I was convinced, because I felt so ready, supported and loved up on the good vibes of friends, that the baby would arrive that night, blessed into arrival!

She didn’t, and didn’t, and didn’t, for nearly a whole two weeks!

With Ramona, my first daughter, I had anticipated she would be late so was nicely surprised when my waters broke on her due date. (Read her birth story here.) Home/ Hospital Birth Story

I imagined there would be a similar situation with Juno… so going “overdue” (I don’t really believe in that term, or a “due date” – the only reason I knew any date at all was because I had an early, early scan to see if I was one week or six months preggo- had no idea. I chose not to have other scans) really knocked me for six.

I felt really bad about the baby not arriving yet. It was so strange and so ridiculous for me to be so bothered. But bothered I was – I spent a whole day crying into my pillow, willing her out with my snotty tears.

(It is crazy, I know. I take heart that every person who has gone way beyond their due date will understand the misery of this beached whale period of waiting!)

On the 25th of April, after yet another day walking purposefully about London attempting to have fun whilst mostly keeping our heads down to avoid bumping into anyone who might say something glorious like “Oh!! Still pregnant?!!”

No shit, Sherlock.

I should have thought up a fun, yes-I’m-taking-this-ten-month-pregnancy-splendidly-with-full-humour-in-tact approach “Oh no, we had that baby already- this is the third! Just joshing! Harhaha!”

My answer mostly involved a psychopathic stare and a deeply convicted “I will be the only woman to be pregnant forever” which is something I thought might be true, in those final days of pregnancy.

Back to the 25th of April 2013. That night we settled Ramona into bed and turned on a film that we had downloaded from Netflix ‘cos we joined up in that last week to get an offer of three months of free movies… oh…. Wait… *checks* Ah, crap, we are still paying out for that Netflix account. Argh, they got my disorganised self…

I leant over my birth ball (6 months of rocking on that rubber number had given me calloused knees) and WHOOOOOSH – BROKEN WATERS, YEAH BABY, ROCK ON, BEST MOMENT IN HISTORY! WHOOOOT WHOOOOT!

Just remembering the exhilaration of that second gets my heart pumping. I wasn’t going to be pregnant forever!

Ten minutes later I felt a squeeze across my middle – the certain tightening of Things Beginning.

We thought back to Ramona’s birth and considered what we should do. Continue watching the film and pretend nothing was happening? (I call this The Nonchalant Birther “I carried on cooking dinner through contractions and the baby arrived just in time for desert!” Or go straight to sleep in order to be wide awake for the action? (The Barely Believable Wisely Rested Birther “I just breathed through contractions, snatching sleep in between”) Or begin marching up and down stairs chanting BRING IT ON (the determined methods of The Prowling Wolf Active Birther? “I willed that baby out by purposeful yogic moves alone!”)

We decided to a bit of everything – Tim should be Wisely Rested and I would be Nonchalant Prowling Wolf.

I did a couple of hours of casually setting up the house for the birth pool to the sounds of my hypno birthing track, whilst spiralling my hips in active manner. I found my contractions were gaining in strength and rhythm. We called my mum and got her to come over to sleep so that in the morning, if the baby hadn’t arrived (HIGHLY unlikely, I thought… ever hopeful) she could take Ramona somewhere fun.

At about 10:30pm I had feeling that I should switch tactics so I curled into bed beside Tim and Ramona to try and get some rest. The contractions continued and I couldn’t sleep – I was also high as a kite on sheer excitement of meeting this new soul.

I got up at about 3am, unable to lie down, contractions feeling quite, quite strong. The hardest thing was the back pain. It was unrelenting and hard to breathe through. Tim pressed on my back, and a hot wheat bag helped a little.

We called our midwife Nikki at about 5am who arrived pretty promptly. I didn’t want checks done if things were seeming straightforward, so I continued to zone right on out into the surges. Home/ Hospital Birth Story

At about 6am Tim bean filling the birth pool and Ramona woke and my Mum began hanging out with her. A bit after 7am I had sort of got stuck in the spare room – I couldn’t move, was distracted by everything, was feeling quite overwhelmed and nauseous… it was exactly like a transition stage…

At about 8 am mum and Ramona set out on an adventure- I anticipated that they would be back in an hour or two to meet the New Kid On The Block….

In fact, they were going to have a marvellously long outing and Juno wouldn’t make an appearance for another TWELVE HOURS ….

*dramatic sound effect* Ba, ba, Baaaa…

READ PART TWO HERE!

Finding things, Our recycled home, Thrifty

Recycled Home- Garden room make over

24 May, 2013

CRUMBS! Who has had quite enough of babies, eh?! Not of actual babies, Juno is continuing to rock our worlds (in a good way) but, blimey, has this blog gone all babyville or what? Here is a bit of reprieve- a little peep at a wee thrifty makeover we did in our spare room.

One of my favourite rooms in our house is one that began as the most unpromising. It overlooks our garden and we keep trying to pretentiously name it “The Garden room”, but it inevitably only ever gets named after the person who happens to sleep in it the most. At the moment it is called “Jojo’s room” after my sister who comes to stay a little bit.

Here is the BEFORE shot, in all it’s mauve and blue glory:
Before Spare Room

We carpeted and wallpapered and painted but I think it is the fun bits and bobs we have around it that make it such a bright room.

Recycle Home - spare room makeover

See this bed? It is made of beautiful native New Zealand wood and is soooo comfortable. We found it about 4 years ago when we were living in a little flat in Kings Cross. We had just decided that day that we would need to invest in a comfortable double bed. That VERY night we found this ON THE DOORSTEP awaiting the morning council pick up for landfill items. Couldn’t make it up, could you?!

I found the curtains in a car boot sale for £5, they aren’t luxury or anything but someone at that car boot sale obviously got the memo that we were creating a “Garden room.” *high fives stranger*

We found the mirror discarded in the street and the two vintage parasols came from car boot sales for a few quid. They only smell faintly of old man’s cigars, hehe.  I love their shape and their colours and the delicate imagery on them.

ballon pictures

I love these pictures, the image of a hot air balloon WELL fills me with joy! I got them from a charity shop for cheap, they were originally framed in pine which just made them look mega 1990’s Habitat. A lick of white just makes them a bit cooler, I reckon.

(In the first AFTER picture there is a string of stuffed fabric birds hanging out from one of the parasols- funnily enough I bought that from Habitat in the nineties… it is pulling off the nineties much better than pine does I think…)

retro embroidery

This is a beautiful retro embroidery given to me by my sister who found it in one of her local charity shops. I’d go so far to say that retro embroidery is THE second hand item to snap up these days, it is so often bursting with colour and can fill a room with nostalgic happiness.

Including the cost of paint I’d say this room cost less than £40 to makeover, a thrifty nook indeed.

I am going to be revealing a few other rooms from our recycled home over the next few weeks. I’ve been meaning to do it for YONKS, so keep tuned!

Have a fab bank holiday weekend! We are off camping with family and friends in Gloster (yes, I’m aware of how you spell it and it’s ridiculous.) Here’s hoping it’s a bit dry sometimes. (Hey, look, this is the hope of a realist- it’s rained and poured every second of every bank holiday camping trip we’ve ever done, I think.) Have fun!

PS I’d hate for you to miss a post… enter your email to get them pinged into your inbox. I won’t be spamalot, promise!


Finding things, Our recycled home, Thrifty

I see red: a few snaps of home

19 April, 2012

We have a magazine coming to our house to take pictures in a few weeks time, Pretty Nostalgic, the prettiest, newest wee vintagey mag on the shelf. Jim’ll TOTALLY fixed it for me as the night before it got arranged I was lying in bed thinking how much I would like some photos of some of the corners of our home that we have poured a bit of ourselves into, the spaces where we have taken someone’s nasty old scraps and given them new life. I am SO excited!

We have started tidying up in preparation, and, blimey, getting tidy is a bit addictive isn’t it? I did that toy shelf, moved onto the mantel piece, started in the kitchen, gosh, soon I’ll have OCD and will be hoovering once a week!!! (Oh, most people do that? For real? Once a DAY, you say? Ah. *awkward smile*)

The mantelpiece is one of those areas that is kind of a centrepiece of the room but still manages to be The Primary Magnet of Remnants. Keys, wallets, loo roll, it all ends up on there. Since sorting it out, whenever Tim tries to put anything down on there, like his cup of coffee,  I am like “Er, is it red? No? Oh, well, bummer, it doesn’t fit the theme. Move on, please, move right along.”

One of the easiest ways to make odd collections of things look nice is by grouping them in vague colour themes.

I love nothing more than having fresh flowers around the house. I have searched high and low for some reasonably priced red tulips to go in this enamel jug but my inner cheapskate  got the better of me and blossom from our backyard bush had to do.

Tim found this beautiful old red chair yesterday, just dumped on the street.

We have about 63 too many chairs in this house, it is one thing we can’t turn down when we walk past them, lonely and neglected on street corners. We should really start a chair hospital.

Given a discarded item a home lately? Got any posts of corners you are proud of?

 
Ooooh looookkkkkk: The Blue Eyed Owl! You are GONNA LOVE HER!!!